


On My Birthday

by alpha_libsx



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Assassination, Attempted Murder, Birthday, Car Accidents, Car Chases, Drug Use, F/M, Fireworks, Flashbacks, Hurt Bucky Barnes, M/M, Marks, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Protective Steve, Scars, Self-Hatred, Self-Sacrifice, Suicide Attempt, Torture, Verbal Humiliation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-02-14 00:52:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 32,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2171721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alpha_libsx/pseuds/alpha_libsx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Steve Rogers birthday but no one of his friends seem to be able to make it. Steve decides to go on the roof and watch the fireworks of the 4th of July. On the rooftop he finds a man about to jump off the ledge and maybe something more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a modern day au Steve is a struggling artist and Bucky is ....

Steve didn’t know how he ended up being alone on his birthday. Every single person he knew somehow managed to not be able to make it. As much as it made him upset, he didn’t actually care.

Every year on his birthday he had his own firework show, a fourth of July baby has its’ perks, it’s what his mother always used to tell him. He figured he’d grab a couple of cold beers and head onto the rooftop of his building and watch the show that the city put on just for him.

He put on a t-shirt and sweatpants, walked over to the kitchen opened the fridge and grabbed two beers and kicked the fridge closed. He walked over to the door and slipped into his flip flops, he gave it some thought it had been a rough day at the gallery, a stuck up rich lady gave him hell about how his work wasn’t good enough to be in the gallery among those well-known artists, it was also his birthday so he deserved another beer. He ran over to the fridge looking at his watch, ten more minutes, he ran over to the door grabbing his keys. He shut the door behind him and walked over to the stairs leading up to the rooftop.

This was also one of the perks of being a struggling artist working in a gallery and trying to sell his work as well, he could afford an apartment on the tenth floor of a thirteen floor building that didn’t have an elevator. 

He finally got in front of the door that lead to the rooftop. He kicked it open and walked out on the hot night. He looked at his clock six minutes until the fireworks start, awesome he thought, he’d get to watch the entire show from the beginning.

He walked over to the north side of the rooftop from where he could see the fireworks and then he saw a man standing on the ledge.

“Hey there” Steve said with a calm voice trying not to frighten him. The man turned around and Steve saw that his eyes had deep dark circles under them and they appeared to be bloodshot and then Steve actually realized that this man was about to commit suicide.

“I got beers, wanna come down from there and watch the fireworks with me?” Steve continued studying the man in front of him, he was wearing black leather boots, black cargo pants, a black t-shirt and a black hoodie on top of it.

“What?” the man asked him.

“I said, want to come down from there and watch the fireworks with me? I have some cold beers here.”

“No” the man answered him and turned around.

“Come on man don’t do this to me” Steve continued cautiously walking towards the man.

“What is it to you?” the man asked him without turning to face him.

“It’s my birthday man, come on down from there and keep me some company” Steve continued.

“Yeah you just want me to keep you company because your friends and girlfriend abandoned you? Boo fucking hoo. What happens after your birthday ends?”

“We go down to my apartment and order a pizza?” Steve said desperately.

“You’d let a stranger into your apartment?”

“Yes, I would” Steve answered.

“You don’t know me and you don’t know the reason why I’m here” the man answered.

“My name is Steve, Steve Rogers, what’s your name?” Steve asked.

“James Buchanan Barnes” the man answered with a tone that reminded Steve of people introducing themselves in the military.

“See now I at least know your name, now will you please come down from there and have a beer with me, maybe tell me what bothers you so much to make you think that the only solution is this, but I promise you it is not, nothing is worth your life. Also you could maybe explain to me why are you wearing a hoodie and gloves on July?” Steve couldn’t believe that he just said all of that but it seemed to do the trick because the man turned around and jumped onto the rooftop from the ledge.

“I will call you Bucky because your name is way too long” Steve tried to tease him. Bucky walked towards were Steve was and stood in front of him. Steve then realized that in the distance the fireworks had already started but somehow he didn’t care.

“I won’t say what brought me up here” Bucky said starring daggers into him. Steve realized then looking at his eyes that they were the most beautiful shade of blue he had ever seen.

“And I won’t push it if you don’t want to talk” Steve said and offered him one of the three beers. Bucky took one of them and turned around to where the show of the fireworks continued.

They watched the show in silence but Steve every two minutes more or less stared at the strange man standing next to him. The show then ended and Bucky turned around to face him.

“Come on” Steve said and walked over to the door that lead to the stairs. Bucky followed him silent. They got to Steve’s floor in silence. Steve walked over to his apartment and Bucky followed him.

“I should go” Bucky said not looking at Steve.

“No, you’re not leaving, I promised you pizza” Steve said and opened the door.

“Listen to me, I’m bad and all I do is bring problems, you don’t want me in your house” Bucky said looking straight in Steve’s eyes.

“So I don’t believe a word you just said, and come on I don’t want my favorite pizzeria to close” Steve said motioning for Bucky to come in. Bucky sighed and came in closing the door behind him.

“Do you want to maybe take off the gloves and the hoodie? I don’t have any air-conditioning here, salary is not what you’d say good” Steve said jokingly.

“I’d prefer to keep them on” Bucky said and Steve turned his head over to him and saw him under the light his eyes looked hollow and tired, his cheekbone looked bruised and his lip was split.

“Come on man, whatever it is I don’t scare that easy” Steve said reassuringly. Then Bucky unzipped his hoodie and took of his gloves revealing his left hand to be made from metal overlapping plates. Steve looked at Bucky and saw how vulnerable he was that moment and was waiting for a reaction.

“So anything you don’t like on pizza or you’re allergic too?” Steve asked.

“Pineapple, I hate it on pizza” Bucky answered looking back at Steve confused.

“No pineapple then” Steve picked up the phone to order some pizza for the both of them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky wait for the pizza.  
> The night will be a long one.

“So what do you want to do until the pizza gets here?” Steve said as he watched Bucky standing up from the couch and walking towards the nearest window, Steve started getting scared again because he didn’t want to have to go through what he went to on the rooftop.

“Don’t worry, I won’t jump off, it will draw way too much attention on you and you seem like a good person” Bucky trailed off never breaking his gaze from the window.

“I… thanks I guess” Steve said wondering if he should go beside him.

“Do you have any family?” Bucky said and Steve started getting really worried because that line was straight out of every thriller he’d seen, the killer would say that just before killing his victim.

“Why do you want to know?” Steve asked.

“Answer me please” Bucky said turning around to look at him.

“No I don’t, but I have a few friends they’re basically my family” Steve said forcing a smile on his face. Then his cell phone buzzed on the counter. Steve went to answer it.

“Hey asshole” Steve said never leaving Bucky out of his sight.

“Excuses, excuses” Steve continued teasing his friend Clint that called to apologize for the billionth time that he couldn’t make it.

“I’m just messing with you man don’t worry, I actually met someone today we’re waiting for the pizza now” Bucky started walking towards Steve as soon as he heard the word met. He reached Steve and snatched the phone from his hand putting the call on mute.

“You met me at the coffee shop in the corner of your street, if he doesn’t ask for a name you don’t give one, if he asks and you can’t avoid it my name is James, no middle name no last name, got it?” Bucky asked looking at Steve straight in the eyes.

“I… ok then” Steve said and grabbed the phone.

“Don’t yell, sorry shitty phone” Steve said.

“Yeah ok we can meet tomorrow, good night” Steve said ending the call.

“If I ask what was that for are you going to tell me?” Steve asked walking over and sitting beside Bucky on the couch.

“It’s for your own good” Bucky said leaning his head back on the pillows. Steve then couldn’t help but notice how some strands of his long dark hair were framing his face. Steve leaned his head back as well. Then the doorbell buzzed and Steve walked over to the kitchen counter where he’d left his wallet. He turned around and walked over to the door. He saw Bucky standing up from the couch and walking over to the wall beside the door and searching his pockets.

“What are you doing?” Steve asked perplexed as he opened the door and saw Bucky lifting up his index finger shushing him. Steve paid the delivery guy and kicked the door shut behind him as he walked again towards the couch and looked at Bucky that was still standing with his back to the wall.

“Will you eat your pizza there?” Steve teased. Bucky sighed and walked over and sat beside him.

They ate their pizza in silence and when they finished Bucky walked up to gather his hoodie and his gloves. Steve looked at him with curiosity.

“Do you want to stay tonight?” Steve blurted out and saw Bucky turn around to face him with a scared expression on his face.

“I don’t want to overstay my welcome and I’d probably be safer if I go” Bucky answered him.

“Look I’m not some crazy person, hell I work in a gallery and try to sell my art in cases nothing weird. What I mean is I’m not going to do anything to hurt you while you sleep.” Steve continued blurting out cursing himself silently while speaking.

“I meant that it will be safer for you, you seem like a good guy so thank you for the pizza” Bucky said wearing his hoodie and zipping it up. Steve stood up and walked over to Bucky gently grabbing his arm.

“Do you have anywhere to go?” Steve asked.

“Damn it, what is it with you?” Bucky said and Steve saw that he was silently surrendering to him.

“I’m pretty stubborn, what can I say?” Steve winked at him and loved the fact that it brought a slight hint of a grin to Bucky’s face. 

“Do you want a blanket or something? I have a spare pillow I can bring you” Steve said as he was hurrying off to the bedroom and reemerging with a pillow.

“I’m ok” Bucky nodded.

“Goodnight then and thank you for keeping me company it was really nice” Steve said smiling.

“You’re not a good liar Steve” Bucky said and sat down on the couch. Steve walked over to his bedroom and left the door open. He sat on his bed thinking for a bit. In some weird way it didn’t matter to him what the stranger in his leaving room was hiding, and he actually did enjoy his company. Steve just wanted to make sure that Bucky was doing ok for some reason and the idea of him taking his own life had vanished from his head. It didn’t take long for sleep to come claim him. 

Steve awoke and looked at his clock four in the morning perfect, he had to go to the bathroom badly. He stood up rubbing his eyes and stepped silently outside of his bedroom. His living room was showered with a dim light coming from the lights outside, then he noticed that Bucky was on the floor in front of the house with his hands on his knees and his head led back.

“What are you doing awake?” Steve asked.

“I don’t sleep” Bucky answered him.

“Is it me? I told you I wasn’t going to do anything, I just woke up because I wanted to pay a visit to the toilet” Steve rambled rubbing the sleep off his eyes.

“It has nothing to do with you” Bucky said looking up at him.

“Ok then, want to talk about it?” Steve asked desperately.

“Not really, it might get you in danger.”

“I’m just trying to help” Steve sighed.

“You can’t” Bucky said starring daggers at him.

“How do you know? If you won’t tell me what happened how do you know if I can’t help? Give me a chance” Steve said as he walked over towards Bucky and slipped down on the floor next to him.

“Stevie…” Bucky trailed off and then the sound of a window breaking filled the air and the first shot came through the couch and hit Bucky on the shoulder.

“Fuck” Bucky granted. Steve froze.

“Keep your head down” Bucky said and manhandled Steve into the ground and covered him with his body. More shots came in and shattered the window behind the couch.

Suddenly the shots stopped. Steve got out of Bucky and looked at him dead in the eyes. “Now would be a really good time to share” Steve said looking at Bucky.

“Not enough time, they’re going to come in, they’re going to want to make sure I’m dead” Bucky said, as he stood up stumbling.

“Where are your kitchen knives?” Bucky asked.

“Drawer under the coffee pot” Steve said, starting to feel scared.

“Listen to me, go in the bathroom, hide in the bathtub and don’t make a sound, you’ll come out when I tell you” Bucky said panting.

“But…” Steve stuttered.

“No buts, go” Bucky shouted and hid behind the door.

Steve run to the bathroom and got into the bathtub. For the first time in his life he felt complete and utter terror. He didn’t know what he’d gotten himself into he’d knew it was risky inviting a stranger in but he never imagined something like this. Why would people with snipping riffles want to kill that man. Bucky didn’t look older than twenty six years old. Then a loud thud came and Steve assumed that was his front door being brought down. Then came the sounds of struggle, a gunshot, screams and shouts. Steve tried to block off the sounds but he couldn’t.

“Come on outside blondie” Steve heard a man shout, but he could tell it wasn’t Bucky. He looked around the bathroom to find something he could arm himself with. He found a pair of nail clippers beside the sink grabbed them and got out of the bathroom.

He walked into the living room and saw a man having Bucky in a chokehold. Bucky was thrashing but he couldn’t get to the man. Steve took a look around them and counted six bodies.

“Here’s how it will go, I’m gonna kill you then take your friend” the man said and Steve didn’t know what to do. As the man’s hand moved a bit off from Bucky’s throat, Bucky leaned forward fast and bit down hard on the man’s hand, he turned around and snapped his neck with his metal arm in one motion.

Bucky turned around to look at Steve, Steve noticed that he was deathly pale. He moved towards him panting and fell to his knees “I’m sorry” he trailed off before passing out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve helps Bucky to get patched up.  
> Some stuff start to unravel about the alluring stranger.  
> Steve and Bucky also need to figure out what to do about the fact that there are seven corpses in the apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the things i've written where Steve helps Bucky to get patched up, are basically my experience from movies, so if something (i think basically everything) is not medically correct i'm really sorry.

Steve fell fast to his knees to catch him before his head was smashed on the floor. “No, no, no you won’t pass out on me” Steve muttered and started slapping Bucky awake, after five slaps Bucky woke up with a grunt.

“Are you ok?” Bucky muttered.

“I am but you’re not, I need to call an ambulance” Steve said trying to place gently Bucky on the floor.

“No” Bucky said grabbing Steve’s t-shirt.

“Are you kidding me right now ? You have a bullet wound on your shoulder and I don’t even know what else or how badly you’re hurt, you need a doctor” Steve said trying to get away from Bucky’s metal grip.

“I said no” Bucky shouted back at him.

“You need help from a doctor Bucky.”

“How will you explain to the hospital when they ask for a name or insurance that you brought them a man that doesn’t exist anywhere?” Bucky said panting.

“What even?” Steve muttered looking at Bucky.

“Help me to a chair” Bucky said as he tried to stand up. Steve helped him up to the couch and eased him down to sit slowly.

“Listen to me, I need a knife, scissors, something with lots of alcohol, a needle, a leather belt and probably something that could be used for sterilization” Bucky said grunting. Steve run all over his apartment getting the stuff Bucky asked thinking what the hell did he got himself into and that he needed to keep that man on his couch alive because he already had seven corpses to deal with.

He came back to Bucky and saw that his breath was coming in shallow pants. He gave him most of what he asked and run to the kitchen to get a knife and alcohol, he thought about it for a second and the remember the bottle of homemade absinthe Natasha had brought him from a little distillery in Switzerland seventy five percent volume that should probably do it. He run back to Bucky and handed him the knife and the bottle of absinthe.

“I’m going to need your help because of the wound on my shoulder, cut open the pants on my left thigh” Bucky said handing Steve the scissors.

“Ok” Steve said and cut a hole on Bucky’s bloodstained pants and gasped at what was revealed, on his thigh was a huge gaping gush that oozed blood.

“Don’t pass out on me Steve” Bucky said.

“Shouldn’t I be the one telling you that?” Steve answered at him perplexed because Bucky seemed pretty familiar with this situation.

“Listen to me, you’re going to have to stich me up, I can’t do it with either of my arms” Bucky said, got the belt on his mouth and opened the bottle of absinthe and pouring a generous amount on his leg. Steve winced as he saw Bucky muffling his screams on the belt.

“Stich me up” Bucky said as he put down the belt and grabbed the needle with the thread and gave it to Steve.

“I haven’t done this before” Steve said feeling panic start to creep on him.

“There’s a first time for everything” Bucky said with a hint of smile on his face.

“Hilarious, what do I do ? You need to guide me through this” Steve said looking at the needle.

“Pour some absinthe on it and use the lighter for a bit just to sterilize it more or less, then pull the two sides of the cut together and start from one side go to the other and so forth until the wound is closed.” Steve started as he was instructed and after five minutes he had the wound more or less closed and every now and then he was looking at Bucky being really intrigued by the fact that he gave the occasional wince but nothing more. Steve thought that Bucky apparently had been in similar situations before because he couldn’t explain his indifference to pain another way.

“Thanks, think you can help me with the bullet in my shoulder as well?” Bucky asked looking at Steve with a pained expression.

“Yes” Steve uttered.

“It’s basically the same thing, I can do the stitching with my metal arm but I’m going to need you to search for the bullet.”

“How am I doing that?” Steve asked.

“I bite on the belt, you jam two fingers in, poke around a bit until you find it and pull it out” Bucky said picking up the belt again.

“You’re kidding right?” Steve said feeling the cold sweat run down his back.

“Unless you got tweezers around or something similar I’m not kidding”.

“I have several pairs of tweezers actually.” Steve said and got up leaving Bucky staring at him wide eyed.

“Don’t look at me like that I have a tendency of dropping stuff in buckets of paint” Steve said searching desperately for a new pair of tweezers. He found on laying around and run back to Bucky. They started the procedure and Steve was terrified as Bucky kept screaming in the belt.

“I’m going to take care of the bodies I promise and thank you” Bucky said staring at him with glassy eyes.

“How are you going to take care of them?”

“You really don’t need to know I just want some trash bags, a pair of scissors, a tape and I need to borrow your car” Bucky said.

“I drive a motor cycle” Steve answered.

“Do you know anyone that is going to be willing to loan you a car for a couple of hours?” Bucky asked with a pained expression.

“I might but what will you do?” Steve asked starting to panic.

“You really don’t need to know. I’ll take care of them, then I’m going to come back and clean up here, I’ll also pay for the damages I did, it will take me some time though” Bucky said staring at Steve.

“Were they police?” Steve asked terrified of the answer.

“Find me a car and the stuff I told you, I’ll take care of them and I’ll explain later” Bucky said leaning his head back on the pillows. Steve took his cell out and searched through his contacts thinking who would be ok with loaning him his car this late at night or early in the morning, depending on your perspective. He thought he’d call on Natasha, she had an odd sleeping schedule and leaved nearby.

“Hey Nat, I need a favor and I need you to do it without asking me anything” Steve said.

“I need you to bring me your car right now” Steve said with a sigh as he was looking at Bucky studying him.

“Thanks so much you’re the best, I’ll meet you at the entrance of my building” Steve said and ended the call.

“I’m going downstairs she’s around the corner actually. I’m trusting you right now to stay here and not leave me with seven corpses” Steve said grabbed the keys for his bike and walked out of the apartment. He run down the stairs with a hurry and found Natasha waiting for him.

“Hey” she said as she walked out of the car.

“Thanks so much, I promise I’ll bring it back” Steve said.

“Did I interrupt something?” Steve asked studying her, she was dressed in a black dress, with black stiletto hills, she had her flaming red hair in loose curls, she was always a stunning woman but she looked date stunning.

“Yeah you did, I was out with Clint” Natasha said and winked.

“He finally came out of his shell huh? Ok then I can accept both of your apologies for missing my birthday” Steve said and winked back and handed her the keys for his motorcycle. She got them, kissed him on the cheek for goodnight and walked towards his bike. Steve waved at her and run back up to his apartment dreading the fact that Bucky might have run away. He got to his floor and run towards his apartment breathless. He got inside and found Bucky sitting in the same place he had left him.

“I wouldn’t have left you and I promise as soon as I’m done with them, I’ll explain, you deserve to know” Bucky said and Steve believed the sincerity he saw in those blue eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky takes care of the bodies.  
> Steve tries to collect himself.

Bucky granted as he tried to lift himself off the couch. He walked over to where Steve was standing and looked at him straight in the eyes.

“Do you have anywhere to go to?” Steve heard Bucky but he was scared to look at him in the eyes because he didn’t have any idea what he’d gotten himself into.

“Why?” Steve asked raising his eyes from the floor to look at Bucky.

“Because you don’t need to be here when I’m transporting them to the car and since there are seven bodies, it’s going to take me two car rides. You don’t need to be here to watch it. You can go somewhere until I clean up the mess”.

“No I’m not going anywhere” Steve answered him.

“As you wish, can you lift the door back up and sort of close it somehow, last thing we need right now is someone seeing this” Bucky said and took the trash bags and the scissors Steve had left on the armchair. Steve picked up what remained from his broken door and positioned it to cover up the hole on his wall.

“I’m just… I need a minute” Steve muttered and walked over to the bathroom with wobbly legs, leaving Bucky cutting up trash bags. He closed the door behind him and fell to his knees in front of the toilet. He took some deep breaths but he couldn’t help the gagging feeling and he emptied the contains of his stomach to the toilet. He thought that he was just saving a man from committing suicide but that man turned out to have people that were out to kill him for some reason. Said man, that apparently also didn’t exist anywhere, was now in his trashed living room and was putting in trash bags seven people that tried to kill him. 

All of this came crashing down on Steve and he felt his breath coming out in swallow pants. After putting some effort he managed to stand up. He splashed some cold water on his face in an effort to calm himself down because the last thing he needed was a panic attack. He sat down on the toilet and started taking deep breaths. After a while came a knock on the bathroom door but Steve didn’t answer, he heard the door slowly open.

“Are you ok?” Bucky asked standing at the doorframe.

“No, I’m not” Steve answered raising his look from the floor.

“I figured, you’ve been in here for half an hour” Bucky answered staring at him.

“You killed seven people in my apartment, how do you expect me to be?” Steve said back at him.

“I said I will explain, look I’ve got the first four in the car. I need to go take care of them, then I’ll come back to take the other three and I’ll explain everything” Bucky walking towards Steve.

“Ok just … just hurry” Steve muttered.

“I will” Bucky said and turned around and Steve heard him leave the apartment.

# ~ 2 HOURS LATER~

Steve hadn’t moved from his position in the bathroom. He heard his apartment door slide open and footsteps coming towards the bathroom. He looked up and saw Bucky.

“First four are done, now I’m gonna take care of the other three and then I’ll come back and clean up” Bucky told him.

“What did you do with them?” Steve asked worried.

“All you need to know is that nobody is going to find them and nothing will lead anyone back to you” Bucky answered him and turned around and walked towards the living room.

Steve buried his head in his hands, he didn’t have to power to go outside and see what was happening. He stayed in that position breathing heavily, wondering what he was about to hear in a couple of hours, what could be the explanation for all this mess. After a while Bucky came back in the bathroom.

“I’m taking the last one down at the car, I’ll be back in a couple of hours” Steve nodded not raising his head to look at Bucky.

# ~3 HOURS LATER~

Steve had started getting worried because the first time Bucky left he had four bodies to dispose of and it hadn’t taken him this long. Steve found the strength to stand up and get out of the bathroom. He walked into his trashed living room. His coffee table was broken there were glass and blood spatters everywhere, one of his paintings was torn apart. He walked towards it and picked it up. It was a painting that he’d made portraying the view from the rooftop of his apartment, he’d made it the first time he moved into this place.

He heard the door slide open again and saw Bucky stumble inside. Steve left the torn painting on the floor and run to catch Bucky in fear that he might fall to the floor. 

“Why are you late?” Steve asked worried.

“I ran into traffic coming back, and it’s a pain in the ass walking up ten flights of stairs with broken ribs” Bucky answered him through gritted teeth. Steve guided him to the couch and placed him on it gently, he walked back and put the door back on it’s place.

“Lift up your shirt” Steve said as he came back to sit beside Bucky. Bucky complied and lifted up his shirt as much as he could and on his right and left side were to huge bruises, Steve gasped at the sight because he could make out on his skin a huge amount of scars.

“Oh my…” Steve uttered.

“Relax, I won't die on your couch, I promise Stevie” Bucky answered leaning his head back.

“Can you like hold out for a couple of hours because I don’t have gauze to tight your core up” Steve said still in awe of the sight.

“Look I said to you I’m going to explain everything, but how do I know that you’re going to not start talking to people about what I’m going to tell you” Bucky said starring straight into Steve’s eyes.

“I haven’t called the police in the hours you were gone” Steve glared back at him.

“Fair enough…” Bucky sighed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky explains his story and lets Steve decide what to do with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the updated tags!

Bucky slowly turned on the couch to look at Steve, he took a deep breath and started telling his story.

“I am not going to go into a lot of details about this. Around the time I was twenty I got in a car accident. The person in the other car promised he’d make everything go away if I’d agree to work for him. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

That man turned out to be head of the FBI, the famous Alexander Pierce. He wanted a man to get things done when the FBI couldn’t. He hired an elite team to train me, the money was really good at that time and I couldn’t complain about it. Everyone was really good to me at first.

Then came the first mission I was supposed to go and blow up a warehouse. They wouldn’t tell me anything else. I completed the mission then I learned from the news that in the warehouse was a man with his wife. I asked my handler about it and he told me that it wasn’t my business and that he was a bad man. I thought I was doing the right thing. Later other missions came, training, punishments whenever I was questioning them, which was basically every day.

Three years ago the FBI loaned me away to the DEA for a mission. I was supposed to infiltrate a cartel and kill the boss and his entire family. They made me though, I still can’t remember exactly how it happened. They dosed me with something and everything is hazy around the edges. They cut off my arm with a meat cleaver and let me bleed off to death on a pavement somewhere.

My original handler found me from my tracker and took me back. That’s when they gave me this arm. Right after the procedure they left me alone for a week. I tried to get out then. They were giving me cash and they told me it was from an account at my name. I basically crawled to the bank and surprise surprise the account didn’t exist and neither did i. Apparently if you’re high enough you can delete a person and make it as if they never existed.

I’m credited with over two dozen assassinations, I started from the age of twenty one, now I’m twenty five. I was on your rooftop because I can’t take it anymore.” Bucky said looking straight into Steve’s eyes.

Steve was staring back at Bucky trying to grasp what he’d heard coming out of that man’s mouth. He didn’t know how to react to that, for some weird reason he believed the sincerity of the man gazing back at him.

“Let me clean up here and after that I’ll go, if you want you can call the police they’d just find me a bit faster that way”.

“I…” Steve muttered trying to figure out what to say.

“You’re a really good person Steve, let me clean this up and after that you can either let me leave or call the police” Bucky said.

“Where are your cleaning supplies?” Bucky asked and Steve looked at him perplexed.

“Under the sink” Steve said rubbing at his temples, all this information giving him a headache. He noticed Bucky getting some chlorine and bleach on a towel and started rubbing at some blood on the floor. The smell was hurting his nose but Bucky didn’t seem to care. Steve stood up and walked carefully over the chlorine to get to the kitchen and noticed that Bucky bowed to him while he was passing by, was he expecting to get hit Steve thought.

He went to the kitchen and filled a glass with iced water from the fridge and went back to sit on the couch. He studied Bucky as he was cleaning up, he was really meticulous after a while there wasn’t any drop of blood on the floor and the shattered glass was picked up. Bucky then stood up from his knees groaning.

“Are you going to let me go now or should I wait for you to call the police?” Bucky asked and Steve noticed the terrified look in his eyes.

“If I let you go, where are you going to go?” 

“I’ll find somewhere, don’t worry” Bucky said dressing up with his hoodie and putting on his gloves.

“How long till they find you again?” Steve asked.

“I don’t know Steve, why?” Bucky asked. Steve looked at him cautiously thinking about his answer, he knew that the people hunting Bucky where probably more dangerous than he could ever imagine but what he saw in front of him was a hurt man who wasn’t lying to him.

“Stay” Steve muttered under his breath. He saw Bucky walking, grabbing the phone and walking back towards Steve’s direction, he put the phone in his hands and sat slowly on the armchair.

“Call the police, I just want to sit down while we wait for them to come if that’s all right” Bucky said leaning his head back.

“I’m not calling anyone” Steve said looking at Bucky staring back at him with wide eyes and slightly open mouth.

“Steve just call, it’s ok believe me I get it".

“I mean it, stay” Steve uttered back at him.

“Why?” Bucky asked.

“Because I don’t like bullies” Steve answered and saw a mad smirk forming on Bucky’s mouth.

“Stevie I’m the worst of them. I’m probably the worst person you’re ever going to meet” Bucky answered him.

“Correct me if I’m wrong but I think you didn’t enjoy any of it and they didn’t let you make any decision” Steve said and saw Bucky nod.

“Stay here then” Steve told him trying to make it sound like he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“Thank you” Bucky said.

“You’re welcome Buck, now I’m going to go get a shower and we’re going to figure out what to do with the door and the broken windows and I’m probably going to have to get some medical supplies to clean you up properly” Steve said eyeing Bucky.

“Thank you” Bucky told him again.

“You don’t have to thank me every five seconds” Steve said smiling.

“I have to” Bucky answered lowering his head.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky get ready to do some shopping.  
> Little bit more of Bucky's story is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again please read the tags before continueing

Steve finished with his shower and walked out of the bathroom pulling a towel around his waist. He went to check on Bucky and found him sitting on the couch the same way he had left him.

“There’s stuff in the fridge if you want anything for breakfast, take a look around and take whatever you like, I’m just gonna get dressed” Steve said and saw Bucky nodding. He walked over to his bedroom and closed the door he fully dried himself and put on a pair of worn out jeans and a white t-shirt. He opened the door and went back out and walked over to find Bucky in the kitchen supporting himself on a counter.

“Are you ok there? I know I don’t have a lot of things and I was planning on going grocery shopping but I think I had some juice in there at least” Steve said trying to figure out what Bucky was waiting for.

“You do have juice, is it ok for me to take some?” Bucky asked lowering his eyes from Steve’s.

“Sure Buck” Steve said smiling trying to make Bucky feel more comfortable he opened the fridge, got out the juice and filled in two glasses and passed one to Bucky.

“Thank you, do you have a job that you need to go to?” Bucky asked.

“I need to go to the gallery I work at in the evening and before that I need to get some grocery shopping done, buy a new door and see what to do about the windows. You can stay here and get some rest” Steve said sipping on the juice.

“I’m gonna come with you, just in case” Bucky said finishing up on his juice.

“Ok” Steve said considering the reality that there are possibly people out there watching his house and that were possibly going to hurt him in order to get to Bucky, but he knew that somehow he was doing the right thing helping him.

“I’m sorry for asking this but can I borrow some clothes and a cap” Bucky asked getting his glass in the sink.

“Sure come with me” Steve said and walked back to his bedroom with Bucky following him.

“So let’s see, a pair of jeans and a t-shirt right?” Steve mumbled searching through his closet.

“Steve I need a hoodie too, I need to hide the arm” Steve nodded back at Bucky realizing that a person with an obvious high-tech prosthetic would probably draw attention from people. He drew out a pair of jeans a white t-shirt and a grey hoodie.

“So I’m going to leave you to get dressed” Steve said and walked out of the room closing the door behind him. As he was trying to find his wallet he heard a loud groan coming from the bedroom. He ran towards it and knocked on the door.

“Everything ok in there?” Steve heard grunting coming from the bedroom and he opened the door to go in. He saw that Bucky had managed to change into the jeans that were a bit loose on him, but he was struggling with pulling off his t-shirt.

“Do you want me to help you?” Steve asked and saw Bucky nod. Steve walked towards him and slowly pulled up his shirt. He slowly pulled Bucky’s metal arm out of one sleeve and then pulled out the t-shirt over his head and the he slowly pulled it off his other arm. 

Bucky turned around to get the t-shirt from the bed and Steve knew that the injuries Bucky had on his sternum were bad, but he wasn’t prepared of what was on his back, he gasped as he saw a large amount of crisscrossing scars some big ones at his lower back, some that looked like burns and some other like bullet wounds.

“Disgusting huh?” Bucky answered pulling the new t-shirt on with Steve’s help.

“What they did to you is disgusting” Steve said and saw the confusion on Bucky’s eyes.

“I know how I look like no need to sugarcoat things” Bucky answered him.

“I’m not sugarcoating anything” Steve said helping Bucky into the hoodie. He didn't want to tell him yet that he thought that this was what bravery looked like, he couldn't imagine what Bucky had been through to create the scars in his back, but Bucky had lived through that and was still here. 

“Do you have a cap?” Bucky asked looking at Steve.

“Here” Steve said getting a dark red cap from a hanger behind his door and handing it to Bucky who wore it and tucked his long hair under it.

“What shoe size are you?” Steve asked eyeing the combat boots.

“9, depends on the shoe, why?” Bucky answered curious.

“Come with me” Steve said and walked out of the bedroom.

“Try these, might not fit you exactly but we’re going to get you some new shoes, combat boots in the middle of July tend to draw attention” Steve said and Bucky sat down on the armchair changing into a pair of worn out all stars.

“Thank you” Bucky said looking up at Steve.

“Stop thanking me all the time” Steve smiled as Bucky stood up.

“Let’s go shopping then” Steve said smiling. They both exited the apartment making a make shift lock at the door. As they started going down the stairs Steve noticed the pain Bucky was desperately trying to hide and helped him down the rest despite his protests. After a while they got out of the building.

“So where did you park?” Steve asked Bucky not seeing the car at the front of the building.

“It’s a block east” Bucky answered him.

“Ok then, put your arm around me so we can go” Steve said.

“I can walk” Bucky answered at him.

“Ok then let’s go” Steve said not trying to push the subject. They reached the car after a while and got in.

“So first stop is getting a new door” Steve said and started the car.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky go shopping and counter some complications.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's again a bit graphic description of an injury and please read the tags once again.

Bucky reached out with his hand and readjusted the rearview mirror so that Steve couldn’t see what was happening behind the car and he could.

“What are you doing? I need to be watching that mirror in order to drive” Steve said with his eyes fixed on the road.

“No you don’t, I need to make sure we’re not being followed” Bucky said watching intently the road behind them. Steve nodded back at him and they continued to rest of the ten minute drive to the shop silently. Steve parked to the side of the road in front of the shop and they both got out of the car. Bucky instantly pulled his hood up over his cap as he turned around to walk over towards Steve, who was waiting for him on the pavement he bumped into a man in a suit and excused himself and continued.

“Let’s go” Steve said and opened the door of the shop and they both walked inside.

“Good morning sirs, how may I help you?” they both looked around and saw a blonde woman dressed in a red pencil skirt and a white top.

“Good morning, we’re here for a new front door” Steve said walking towards the woman with Bucky on his heels.

“Is there a certain model you’re interested in?” the woman said starring at Bucky.

“We need a door with eight hinge-side studs, the most durable construction you have, with a certified high degree of security, stainless steel core but dress it up to look like MDF” Bucky uttered and saw Steve turning around and looking at him with wide eyes.

“I have a model that fits what you told me, it’s our most expensive one” she said as she walked towards a certain door at the back of the shop.

“We’ll take it, we need it delivered and placed today” Bucky as Steve grabbed him by the sleeve and pushed him a few feet away from the woman excusing them for a minute.

“Bucky I can’t pay for this” Steve whispered.

“I can, since they had that kind of door we’ll get the windows from here as well, I will pay for those too” Bucky answered back.

“Is everything all right?” they both turned towards the woman smiling and nodding. Bucky walked back to her and to Steve’s utter perplexed expression gave an order for bulletproof windows and gave exact measurements. The woman was beaming towards both of them, she made a thousand dollars sell, it was to be expected Steve thought. Steve’s confusion sky rocketed when Bucky pulled out from his pocket a wallet and pulled out five hundred dollars and gave them to the woman. 

They walked out of the store and got into the car with Steve trying to grasp what had just happened.

“What’s up with the wallet?” Steve asked turning around to stare at Bucky.

“Remember the guy I run into when we got out of the car?” Bucky said with a calm expression.

“How are we going to pay for the rest of it then?” Steve snarked back at him.

“You’re sneaky Stevie, when we get back home I’m going to need your laptop, by the way they’ll come to place the door and the windows at around lunch time” Bucky said smirking.

“I…” Steve struggled with what to say.

“Next stop groceries and medical supplies?” Bucky said winking.

“Oh you’re mocking me now?” Steve asked amused starting the car.

“I couldn’t” Bucky answered with an obvious tease that Steve started to really enjoy. The fifteen minute drive to the grocery store was spent with Bucky starring at the rearview mirror to see if someone was following them and Steve driving humming a song that was playing on the radio.

They parked the car a block away from the grocery store and walked towards it. Bucky with his hood pulled up again and Steve a little bit uneasy with the thought of what could happen if someone followed them.

They walked into the store and Steve took a shopping cart and Bucky stayed close beside him.

“So we need to get some of the necessary stuff, so what would you like to have for lunch and breakfast?” Steve asked looking at Bucky who lowered his eyes.

“I… whatever you’re having I’m ok with it” Bucky said keeping his eyes fixed to the floor.

“Is there something you like?” Steve asked.

“Let’s get whatever you’re getting usually and go” Bucky said tugging on Steve’s arm to push him towards one of the aisles. Steve was starting to get worried that he did something wrong. They walked around the aisles Steve grabbed some juice, milk, some fruits and vegetables and lastly they got some grated cheese and got to the cashier. Steve paid still keeping an eye on Bucky who kept his head down and was looking around them with a cautious eye. Steve looked around and didn’t notice anything suspicious there was an old lady behind them and a pregnant woman was grabbing some milk. They walked outside and got their stuff in the car. 

“Is there something going on? Did I do something?” Steve asked as he was closing the trunk and looking at Bucky who was supporting himself on the side of the car looking around.

“Steve I’m going to need to drive” Bucky asked motioning for Steve to give him the car keys. Steve handed him the keys without questioning and got in the car and Bucky run towards the driver’s sit.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked starting to panic.

“We’re being followed” Bucky said taking random turns that made no sense to Steve and Steve gasped when Bucky passed on a red light. Steve turned around to look behind them and saw the old lady in the car behind them and a bike going the opposite direction .

“I think you’re being paranoid, it’s the old lady from the store behind us” Steve said.

“The story I told you at your apartment was paranoid but for some reason that I still don’t get you believed it, you believed me, so do the same thing now, because the old lady behind us is wearing a face mask and a wig, the bike that was going the other direction was flanking and following the old lady the jeep that is parked at the end of the road is going to suddenly start following us as well and the car in front of us will suddenly have a flat tire in the middle of the road.” Steve starred back at Bucky with wide eyes.

“I… how will we get back?” Steve asked perplexed at Bucky’s calm expression.

“We’re going to make them all crash” Bucky said and took a sudden u turn and started speeding up, according to Bucky’s schedule the car in front of them tried to take a u turn as well and the back of it crashed on the back of the parked jeep.

“Grandma and bike left” Bucky uttered and saw from the mirror that both of them were behind them.

“Listen to me grab the wheel and keep going on straight ahead and keep your head down. Bucky opened the driver’s door and Steve grabbed the wheel saw him getting a knife out of his pocket and throwing it back Steve looked from the mirror and saw that the knife hit the front tire of the bike and the biker lost control and reared the car the lady was driving.

“Scoot over” Bucky said and got back in the car and grabbed the wheel.

“That was… oh my god” Steve muttered leaning back at the sit.

“Are you ok?” Bucky asked as he took a right turn and looked at Steve.

“How did you notice them?” Steve asked sighing.

“I told you” Bucky said turning around and fixing his eyes on the road.

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t realize they were even a threat” Steve said trying to keep himself from having a panic attack.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, I brought this up on you and they’re going to keep on coming” Bucky said and took a hand off the wheel and rubbed at his ribs.

“Can’t you just come out with this at the media?” Steve asked because he couldn’t believe someone could live like that, these people probably wouldn’t stop until they killed him.

“Nobody will believe me, anything I could do for someone to believe me they took it away from me” Bucky said still rubbing at his ribs.

“I believed you” Steve said putting a reassuring hand on Bucky’s shoulder.

“I still don’t get why you did that” Bucky said as he parked the car and pulled the hand from his ribs and Steve gasped as he saw it drenched in blood.

“Ok we need to get you upstairs” Steve said and run out of the car and got to the driver’s door and opened it.

“We need to get the groceries first” Bucky uttered his breath starting to come out in shallow pants.

“Fuck the groceries right now” Steve said and pulled Bucky up. Steve supported Bucky all the way back to the apartment. They got inside and Steve placed Bucky gently on the couch. Steve disappeared inside a room and reappeared with a pair of scissors and ripped up the hoodie Bucky was wearing and saw the t-shirt under it drenched in blood.

“Ok, you need a doctor” Steve said trying to subdue the urges of a panic.

“I told you I can’t” Bucky muttered through shallow breaths trying to sit more upright.

“You’re going to bleed out, I’m not letting you bleed out” Steve said and ripped the bloodied t-shirt opened and saw a huge gash across Bucky’s ribs oozing with blood. He run to the bathroom and grabbed a clean towel from a drawer and came back and pushed the towel to the gash and Bucky grunted at the pressure.

“Hold it there, I’m gonna call a friend to come see you, he’s a doctor” Steve said searching around his pockets to find his cell.

“What are you going to tell him?” Bucky asked with a look of utter terror.

“He can help you” Steve said dialing a number.

“Hey Bruce, I need you man it’s an emergency bring in some medical supplies, I’ll explain when you get here” Steve said and ended the call.

“He’ll be here in fifteen minutes, just hold on” Steve said and walked over to sit beside Bucky.

“Steve he can’t talk to anyone about this, please” Bucky uttered back.

“He won’t, trust me” Steve said brushing away some strands of hair from Bucky’s forehead.

“I am” Bucky said cupping Steve’s hand with his free one.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce gets to Steve's apartment to patch up Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any medical inaccuracies. Also once again read the tags before the chapter.

“He’s here” Steve said as he was looking out of what was left of the windows.

“Can we rethink this? I am not bleeding that much anymore” Bucky granted from the couch.

“You need proper medical help, he can provide that” Steve said walking towards the door to push it open for Bruce. 

“Hey, how are you?” Steve said at a man coming in who was wearing gray pants and a purple shirt with rolled up sleeves and at one hand he was holding a big brown leather bag that Bucky guessed was Bruce.

“I’m fine, you also look fine, so what was that on the phone? Also what the fuck happened to your door?” Bruce asked as he adjusted his glasses.

“It’s not me, just come in and I’ll explain” Steve said motioning him to come in and pushing the door closed behind them.

“I’m guessing it’s about your friend bleeding all over the couch?” Bruce said looking at Bucky who was waving him a hello and was nodding emphatically to the question.

“Yeah the big problem is that gush on his ribs, but he also has some more injuries that I need you to look over” Steve said taking a sit at the armchair.

“Ok then, sure. Hey there my name is Bruce, I am a doctor so you have nothing to fear ok? What’s your name?” Bruce said as he was placing his bag on the coffee table.

“James” Bucky said trying to sit up straight.

“Ok James, I’m going to need you to lean back a bit, so I can take a look at that” Bruce said as he put on surgical gloves. Bucky leaned back to give Bruce better access.

“Ok it’s not so bad, it’s just deep, I’m gonna stich it up but it’s going to hurt so I’m going to have to give you a shot to take some of the edge off” Bruce said looking at Bucky.

“No” Bucky granted back.

“What do you mean no?” Bruce asked confused at Bucky’s reaction.

“I don’t want you to give me a shot, I’m going to just bite down onto something and you do whatever you have to” Bucky said.

“Are you sure? I’m going to have to prescribe you some antibiotics for that so is there something I need to know before I do that?” Bruce asked starring at Bucky for an answer.

“What do you mean?” Steve asked wondering about what Bruce had said.

“Look I’m not judgmental about it but if you’re doing drugs I need to know, because I’m going to have to prescribe you some antibiotics and maybe some other pills so I need to know in order to avoid a bad reaction” Bruce said and Steve noticed Bucky tense.

“I am not doing any drugs, I don’t want it because of other reasons” Bucky said and lowered his eyes. 

“Ok then, Steve I’m going to need you to put on some gloves and help me out a bit, they’re in the blue box” Bruce said and started to disinfect Bucky’s wound. Steve gave Bucky back the belt so he could bite down on it and muffle his screams. They worked on cleaning his wound and Bruce stitched it up.

“Thanks” Bucky said between sallow pants.

“You’re welcome James, is there something else you’d like me to look at?” Bruce asked starring at Bucky who was lowering his eyes again and nodded negatively.

“There’s a bullet wound on his shoulder, and a stab wound on his thigh” Steve muttered and saw Bucky turning his head suddenly and starring daggers at him.

“What the hell?” Bruce asked perplexed at Steve.

“Please help him, without questions please” Steve said and saw Bucky tensing as he was waiting Bruce’s reaction.

“Relax Steve I’ll help him out” Bruce said and nudged Steve’s shoulder.

“Thank you” Bucky said looking at both of them. 

“So, just to be thorough and make sure you’re ok and everything will heal properly you’re going to have to undress, I’ll cut open the rest of the t-shirt and you’re gonna, wait why are you wearing a glove?” Bruce said looking at Bucky confused.

“You’re bound by doctor patient confidentiality, remember that” Bucky said and stood up and wobbly legs refusing help from Steve to stand up, he pulled of the everything he was wearing from his upper body and started pulling off his jeans.

“What the holly hell?” Bruce muttered starring wide eyed at Bucky. Steve couldn’t help but stare as well, on broad daylight he could see more definition than what he could when he was helping him change into the t-shirt. There were visible scars some small others a lot bigger than normal, burn marks, bullet wounds you name it and Bucky probably had it, Steve felt his blood starting to boil he couldn’t believe that someone endured all of that, nobody deserved to go through that. He noticed the scarring where metal connected with flesh, he then came to the realization that Bucky was a real fighter for getting through all that and still being alive.

“You’re gonna stop starring and help me out?” Bucky asked as he was sitting back down on the couch again. 

“I am really sorry, who did the job on your shoulder and leg?” Bruce asked getting on new gloves to assess the new situation.

“Steve actually” Bruce turned around to look at Steve with a curious look that Steve knew meant he’d have to explain some stuff after they got Bucky properly patched up.

“He guided me through it” Steve said apologetically thinking that he might have screwed the whole thing up.

“No you actually did a pretty good job, but I’m gonna have to stitch you up a little bit more tightly and with the proper tools, after that I’ll take a look at your ribs because I don’t like the bruising” Bruce said and starting working on restitching Bucky properly. 

“The two lower from the right side are cracked but not broken, if you please tie them up properly when you’re finished” Bucky said.

“How do you know this?” Bruce asked curiously, never taking his eyes from the task of restiching Bucky’s wounds.

“You don’t need to know that” Bucky said and looked up at Steve.

“Ok all done now get up, I’m gonna be wrapping and” Bruce said as he pulled off his gloves and searched in his bag for some bandages.

“And I’m gonna move in a circle while you do it, I’ve done this before doc” Bucky said completing Bruce’s sentence before he could. As Bruce started wrapping and Bucky turned around Bruce saw the crisscrossing scars on Bucky’s back and gasped as silently as he could but didn’t say anything. He finished up and told Bucky to get dressed with a clean t-shirt and pull up his jeans.

“Steve I need to talk to you in the kitchen” Bruce said and walked towards the kitchen with Steve standing up and following him. Bucky was left pulling up his jeans.

“Look I don’t know what’s going on here and I think you’re probably not going to tell me, but be really careful please” Bruce almost whispered to Steve who sighed and leaned back on the counter. “The scars on his back are from a whip, to do that amount of scarring you need one whip and one fucked up motherfucker to hold it. And I won’t start talking about the tech on the prosthetic. What’s up with this guy Steve?” Bruce said starring daggers at Steve.

“I can’t tell you, but he just needs some help right now and please don’t tell anyone about him” Steve said.

“Don’t puppy eye me Steve, I’m gonna write him some antibiotics and some pain killers to take and I won’t talk but please promise me you’re going to be careful with him” Bruce said giving in to Steve. “About that, write the prescription to me because he doesn’t actually have insurance or anything at the moment” Steve said and saw Bruce nod back.

Bruce wrote down the prescription to Steve and saw Bucky starring scared at both of them when they walked back towards the living room.

“I wrote you a prescription for some antibiotics and pills you need to take, and please do take them also you need to take it easy in order to allow your ribs to heal properly, if you have any questions about how to take the pills or you experience any discomfort out of the ordinary have Steve to call me, or call me yourself I wrote my number at the back of the guidelines of how to take the prescription, it was nice meeting you” Bruce said extending his arm.

“Thank you for helping me and I won’t let anyone do something to Steve” Bucky said grabbing his arm and shaking it. Bruce packed up his bag and left, as Steve was pushing on the door to close it he turned around to look at Bucky with a perplexed expression about the declaration he made earlier.

“I heard you, when you were talking in the kitchen, I won’t let anyone get to you” Bucky said looking up at Steve.

# ~ALEXANDER PIERCE’S HOME~

“Crossbones I need you to come in” Pierce said on a burner phone ended the call and dismantled it and threw it in his garbage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crossbones is the "nickname" if you will of Brock Rumlow in the marvel universe.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky spend their time cooking before the guys that will install the door and the new windows come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains torture involving food. I didn't know how to tag this so please if it's triggering to you don't read this.

“I need your laptop” Bucky said and walked up towards the kitchen counter, took a pen and wrote something on a notepad. He passed the note to Steve who was looking at him with wide eyes from the confusion. Steve glanced at the note and saw.

_1\. I need to check for bugs._  
_2\. I need to gain access to the card and make sure we can pay for the door and the windows._  
_3\. Act like I gave you something irrelevant in case there are bugs here._

Steve raised his eyes to look back at Bucky, who was waiting for a reaction from him. Steve nodded emphatically back at him and walked over to the room he used as a studio. He picked up his laptop from his desk and walked back to the living room and found Bucky sitting on an armchair.

Bucky stood up grunting, walked towards Steve and took the laptop from his hands. He then turned around and walked back towards the armchair. Steve saw Bucky typing something and put a video to play and blasted the volume. Steve sat down on the couch and looked mesmerized at Bucky who started walking around with the laptop and searching through everything Steve possessed, behind his drawings that he’d hung on the wall, inside drawers, behind every book in his library.

Almost an hour passed until Bucky finished having turned over the entire apartment. He then came back and sat down on the armchair again with a grunt. Steve looked at him waiting for the verdict.  
“There’s nothing” Bucky said to him and Steve sighed in relief.

“Ok, that’s good” Steve said rubbing at his own temples in relief.

“Yeah I just need a sec to access the card and then we’ll be good to go.” Bucky said and started typing again.

“Ok I’m done call the shop and give the phone to me” Steve nodded at him, called the shop and gave the phone to Bucky. Bucky gave the information of the credit card and ended the call and sat beside Steve.

“I’m sorry about the mess again, I’ll put everything back” Bucky said looking at Steve trying to read his expression.

“It’s ok, you had to be thorough I get it.” Steve said turning to look at Bucky.

“Thank you Stevie” Bucky said and Steve’s heart almost caught on fire as he saw a hint of a smile to Bucky’s face.

“There’s nothing to thank me about, are you hungry? I’m hungry, I’m gonna go downstairs and get the groceries from the car I’ll be back and we’ll make something to eat, sounds good?” Steve asked smiling back at Bucky.

“Yeah, sure” Bucky said. Steve stood up and took the keys of the car and walked out of his apartment. He hurried downstairs to the car took all the groceries and hurried up the stairs and opened the door breathless. He found Bucky exactly where he had left him and sighed with relief.

“I am still here” Bucky said looking at Steve’s relieved expression.

“Ok, yes you’re here” Steve said trying to catch his breath.

“Where you worried?” Bucky asked him arching his eyebrow.

“I… I might have been ok?” Steve said walking with the groceries towards the kitchen. He placed the bags on the counter and started putting what was still salvageable to the fridge.  
“You need some help?” Steve turned around to look at Bucky standing behind him.

“No it’s ok, I’ve got it, you need to rest. Sit down on the counter you heard Bruce you need to take it slow” Steve said and motioned Bucky to go sit down. He started opening the cardboards in the kitchen to see what he could cook for them. 

“Is pasta ok? I can like make a tomato sauce put some oregano in there and some basil?” Steve asked starring back at Bucky hoping that it was ok.

“Steve I really don’t have a problem, whatever you make it’ll be perfect” Bucky said smiling back.

“I’m not like a perfect cook so you’re gonna have to bear with me” Steve said trying to lighten the mood.

“I have no problem, I’m sure it’ll be great” Bucky said as Steve put a pot with water to boil.

“I can’t skip going to the gallery, Fury will fire me if I bail on him so do you want to come with me?” Steve asked as he cut up the tomatoes for the sauce.

“Of course I will just in case, do I have to wear a suit or something?” Bucky asked looking at Steve.

“No, but you’re gonna have to put on some clean clothes.” Steve said starting at the sauce and putting the pasta in the boiling water.

“We’re going to have to put a sheet over the couch before the people from the shop come to set up the windows and the door. It might be not good for them to see blood” Bucky said to Steve who walked towards him.

“I’ll take care of it, don’t worry.” Steve said as he was stirring the sauce.

“You’re too good to me, why?” Bucky asked walking towards Steve and supporting himself on the counter next to him.

“You deserve someone to be more than too good to you” Steve said not daring to raise his eyes to look at Bucky.

“Steve I told you a summary of what I did, I don’t deserve this, how you’re treating me” Bucky said making Steve look at him with an annoyed look.

“No” Steve said with utter annoyance and took the pasta out of the water and put them in the sauce.

“Steve…” Bucky muttered.

“Cut up the herbs in the bowl and stop that, the whole I am a bad person thing because both you and I know it’s bullshit, you’re not a bad person, you deserve the best” Steve said as Bucky passed him the cut herbs.

“Now let’s see what we did” Steve said and took at two dishes and two forks and served them the pasta and put some of the grated cheese on it.

They ate their meal in silence and Steve felt happy when he saw the almost content expression in Bucky’s face. 

“So how bad was it?” Steve teased Bucky because he couldn’t help it.

“It was amazing, I haven’t had pasta in years” Bucky said taking his last bite.

“What?” Steve asked perplexed.

“They would control everything I ate, and occasionally they’d leave me to starve for a few days just to see what happens or give me dog food” Bucky said wiping his mouth on a napkin. Steve felt flabbergasted, little by little the tortures the man in front of him had been into started to unravel and Steve felt angry because he was just a man the same age as him and he didn’t deserve what they made him go through.

 

# ~ BUILDING ACROSS FROM STEVE’S ~

“Hahahahaha you’ve found yourself a boyfriend kiddo” said a man standing in the apartment right across of Steve’s looking through a pair of binoculars.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky get ready to go to the gallery where Steve works.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how the inner workings of a gallery are, i just have a general idea so i'm sorry if i did something wrong with that.  
> Also once again read the tags before reading.  
> And on an irrelevant note this is what happens when i procrastinate and avoid my responsibilities...

Some employers from the shop came little after they’ve finished their lunch and installed the new door and windows. Steve didn’t know whether or not he should have been surprised by the fact that everything went ok with the stolen credit card.

“Before we go to the gallery we’re going to have to take the car back to Natasha and get back my bike” Steve said texting Natasha that he’d be there in a couple of hours to return her the car.

“Ok, first I put back everything I messed up in here, then I’m gonna have to clean up a bit and then we can go” Bucky said.

“You’re not cleaning up anything, you need to heal. Now wait a sec so I can bring you some fresh towels” Steve said and walked into his bedroom to get some new towels from the closet.

“I can’t have a full on bath just yet” Bucky teased eyeing the pile of towels Steve was holding.

“Oh cause of the stitches yes” Steve answered blushing.

“I’m gonna go try and clean up as much as I can” Bucky said taking the towels from Steve and walking over to the bathroom.

Steve took the time then to deal with some of the mess that was his apartment always keeping his ears open to any sign that might suggest Bucky might need help. He had almost finished cleaning up, when he thought that Bucky was taking way too long in the bathroom. He walked towards the bathroom and knocked on the door hoping that everything was alright. Bucky didn’t answer him though, Steve heard running water and Bucky cursing from inside so he carefully opened the door.

“What are you trying to do?” Steve asked curiously looking at Bucky who had water dripping from his head.

“Fuck… I’m… I was trying to wash my hair but I can’t because of the damn ribs and my good hand isn’t cooperating with me and I made a mess and I’m sorry” Bucky muttered and Steve then realized that there was water all over the sink, the mirror and a little bit on the floor.

“It’s ok, sit, can you lean back?” Steve said as he took a chair and probed it with the back against the sink. 

“I… what are you doing?” Bucky asked with a worried expression.

“I’m going to wash your hair, now lean back a bit” Steve said and took his shampoo from the shelf over the bathtub, Bucky gave him a nod and complied.

Steve put a careful hand in his hair to see if it was wet enough then he squeezed some shampoo in his hand. He applied the shampoo in Bucky’s hair with circular motions, he felt Bucky leaning a little bit more to his touch. He couldn’t help but put a little bit more pressure to his motions and he heard Bucky give the slightest moan that was barely audible. He continued shampooing and massaging Bucky’s scalp when he felt an arm grasp on his he almost screamed.

“I think they’re ok” Bucky said releasing Steve’s hand. Steve wandered then how lost he’d been in the sensation of Bucky’s wet hair in his fingers.

“I… ok sure let me get a glass or something so I can rinse the shampoo” Steve run to the kitchen then took a glass and came back. The process of getting the shampoo off from Bucky’s hair took a lot of time. Steve noticed in the sink that the water was turning slightly pink and got worried.

“Bucky, did you get hit on the head or something?” Steve asked.

“It’s nothing Stevie, don’t worry” Bucky said. Steve wrapped a towel around Bucky’s head smiling at himself relieved with the fact that Bucky wasn’t injured again.

“Ok, what do people wear at galleries?” Bucky asked Steve as he was rubbing his hair with the towel.

“Don’t look so scared, you’re gonna have to wear jeans and a shirt” Steve said teasing him.

“Ok, let’s go to get dressed now, Fury won’t stop bitching whenever I’m late” Steve said rushing to his bedroom with Bucky behind him.

“So let’s see” Steve said looking through his closet, he ended up picking a pair of dark gray jeans and a blue black shirt that he thought might be a bit loose to Bucky to hide the arm, he turned around to show them to Bucky who was standing beside the bed.

“Ok, now let me get my clothes and I’ll leave you to get on the jeans and I’ll come help you with the shirt, sound ok?” Steve said and Bucky nodded eyeing the clothes.

Steve picked up a pair of charcoal gray pants and a muted green shirt and got out of the bedroom closing the door behind him. He quickly changed clothes, rolled up the sleeves of the shirt and waited for Bucky to call for him.

“You can come in” Bucky said and Steve opened the door. He helped Bucky to put the shirt on and he started buttoning it when Bucky grabbed his arms again.

“I can take it from here” Bucky said starring straight into Steve’s eyes.

“I just wanted to help, I’ll wait for you outside then” Steve said giving a careful smile, he thought that probably he’d overstepped a line that he didn’t know was there and considering what Bucky had been through, the thought of that terrified him.

“Steve, thank you for helping me” Bucky said as Steve smiled at himself as he walked out the door again giving some privacy to Bucky.

Bucky walked out of the bedroom ready wearing his gloves. Steve tried to repress a blushing smile. They both put on their shoes and walked to the car locking the door behind them.

They drove in silence to Natasha’s apartment, Bucky spent the entire time looking at the rear view mirror to see if someone was following them again. They reached Natasha’s apartment after twenty minutes and they both got out of the car. Steve took two helmets from the trunk and positioned them on the hood of the car and then run towards a blonde man carrying two coffees. 

“Hey, so if you’re still here I’m gonna guess it went good right?” Steve said teasingly at Clint.

“Oh, hey man, yeah it did finally” Clint answered smiling.

“So I came to bring her the car and get the bike” Steve said and took a glance at Bucky who was still beside the car watching them.

“Oh man, why are you being a dick again” Clint said and walked over towards Bucky who was staring at them.

“Hey man, Steve’s being his usual douchebag self and not introducing people. I’m Clint” Clint said smiling and Steve watched from the corner a bit terrified at how this could play out.

“I’m James” Bucky said extending his regular arm for Clint to shake.

“Hey James, so how did you guys meet?” Clint said and Steve realized from Bucky suddenly tensing.

“Clint, I’m running late go tell Natasha to come down with the keys of the bike” Steve said handing Clint the keys to the car.

“Ok ok I’m going” Clint said and left them.

“It wasn’t bad right?” Steve said looking at Bucky.

“What?” Bucky asked confused.

“I handled that ok?” Steve asked.

“Yeah you did fine, you worry too much Stevie” Bucky said smiling.

“Heads up boys” Steve turned around and saw Natasha with a pair of shorts and a tank top throwing the keys towards him. Steve caught them midair and flipped off Natasha that was looking amused.

“If I see a scratch, I’ll skin you Steve” Natasha said narrowing her eyes at Steve.

“It’s good as new” Steve said smiling at her. 

“Bye boys” Natasha said waving a goodbye as she walked away. Steve took one of the helmets and put it on and passed the other one to Bucky who put it on and followed Steve towards the bike. They got on the bike and Steve started it and felt his breath caught in his throat as Bucky placed his hands on his waist.

They drove fifteen minutes to the gallery and Steve parked the bike in front of it. He looked at his watch and sighed in relief they were ten minutes early. He searched his pockets and found the keys that opened the front door of the gallery.

“So… what are we gonna do here?” Bucky muttered as they entered the vast space of the gallery and Steve opened the lights.

“There will be a woman coming up to complete a buy of a painting and other than that we’re going to sit around, I’m gonna dust off some of the paintings and if a client comes in I’m gonna give them a little tour and try to bullshit them into buying my paintings and not someone else’s” Steve said winking.

“Can I see your paintings?” Bucky asked putting his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

“Sure, come with me” Steve said and went towards the west wall of the gallery with Bucky following close behind him.

“So these are the three paintings that I can afford to put up in here.” Steve said motioning to three paintings and then turned his eyes towards Bucky, he wanted to see his reaction towards them.

Bucky stared at the first painting from the left it was a landscape he had done from the top of a warehouse at the docks and it was of the old warehouses in the morning light with the people working there, he personally loved the vibe it emitted and he smiled when he saw Bucky’s eyes smiling appreciatively at the painting.

He then continued to the next one, it was from the street where his favorite coffee shop was just five blocks away from his apartment, he let Bucky study that one too, he like how his eyes narrowed a bit trying to capture the details. He especially loved the fact that he seemed to not be bored by them.

Last came a painting he’d done of Natasha, it wasn’t a portrait it was the vague shape of her back wearing a black fitted midi dress with black hills and her loose red curls dancing over her back, in front of her was a full body mirror but he hadn’t make the exact features of her face he had blurred it out and he made sure the lighting highlighted every curve of her body perfectly because Natasha had threatened him to make her look alluring and gorgeous, as if she wasn’t by herself. Steve got confused with Bucky’s expression because he didn’t seem to like the painting.

“The first two are amazing, but why draw Natasha?” Bucky asked turning to Steve.

“I was kind of bored that day and I asked if I could draw her, she said yes and threatened me with pretty graphic images of what would happen to me if it didn’t look awesome” Steve said smiling but Bucky didn’t seem to return it.

“Aren’t you mad she hooked up with Clint?” Bucky asked expressionless.

“No, I don’t like her like that, she and Clint have been dancing around that subject quite a while so I’m relieved basically” Steve said trying to understand Bucky’s problem with the painting, he couldn’t let himself read too much into things so he needed a straight answer.

“Is there a bathroom here?” Bucky asked changing the subject.

“Sure, up those stairs, you’ll see it on your right” Steve said and watched Bucky go.

Then a little bell rung that signified that someone had walked in the gallery and Steve went towards the door to greet the customer. As he walked towards the door he saw a man come in wearing a dark grey suit with a white shirt. He seemed to be around thirty five with black hair and clean shaven.

“Hi there” the man said to Steve.

“Good evening sir” Steve answered politely.

“I’m looking to buy a painting, I want something fresh and new, something that oozes life” the man said giving a firm handshake to Steve.

“I think I have just the thing for you sir, if you please follow me” Steve said and laid the man towards the painting he’d made of the road of his coffee shop.

“I love it, the colors and the tones are exactly what I’ve been looking for, I’m buying it” the man said and Steve took the painting down from the display and motioned him to come to the desk to settle the payment. Steve rolled up the painting in bubble wrap and handed it to the man.

“It was pleasure doing business with you sir?” the man asked.

“Steve and you are?” Steve asked.

“My name is Brock Rumlow” the man said and took the painting and walked out of the gallery as Bucky was running towards the office where Steve was.

“What the fuck did he say to you?” Bucky asked between shallow pants.

“Nothing in particular, I sold him one of my paintings, the one of the coffee shop” Steve said eyeing Bucky confused.

“Did you give him your name?” Bucky asked looking like he was starting to have a panic attack.

“Yeah I did why?” Steve asked perplexed.

“He’s my handler, the person who trained me” Bucky said sinking down in the nearest chair.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky discuss on what to do in light of the appearence of Brock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the end there's a nightmare scene happening. So if it's something sensitive to you read until they say goodnight to each other or don't read.

“Bucky relax please” Steve said panicked at Bucky’s reaction.

“Relax? Are you kidding me right now? He came here Steve, he knows damn it” Bucky said supporting his back to the nearest wall and putting his hands on his knees.

“Listen to me, relax he didn’t come in guns blazing. I just told him a first name nothing else” Steve said moving cautiously towards Bucky.

“That’s all he needs Stevie. He’s fuckin everywhere, he knows that I’m staying at your house” Bucky said not raising his eyes from the floor.

“Look I’m going to call Fury and say that I’m sick or something so that I’ll close up early and then we’re going to go home and think of something to do” Steve said and went to grab the phone to call Nick.

“It doesn’t matter…” Bucky mumbled and sank to the floor.

“Hey there sir, how are you?” Steve said never taking his eyes from Bucky’s hunched form.

“I’d like to ask for a favor, I have a last minute emergency and I’d appreciate it if I could close right now and leave?” Steve said hoping that Fury would just agree but no matter what Fury was going to tell him he’d close the gallery and go as soon as the phone call ended. Fury thankfully agreed and wished him luck with whatever emergency had occurred, Steve thanked him because he was going to need all the luck he could get and ended the call.

“Ok get up, we’re leaving” Steve said and grabbed the helmets that were sitting behind the office and handed one to Bucky. Steve closed the lights and locked the door behind them as they left.

The ride back to Steve’s house was silent. They parked in front of the entrance of the building and Steve supported Bucky up the stairs. They entered the apartment and Steve helped Bucky down on the couch and sat beside him.

“I should probably go, I’ll make sure that he follows me and leaves you alone” Bucky said turning to look at Steve.

“No you’re not in the state to start running” Steve retorted back at him.

“Stevie you don’t know him like I do, you’ve been so good to me let me return the favor and get him away from you” Bucky answered sighing, because Steve didn’t know Brock and he couldn’t let him learn about the man with the codename Crossbones.

“No Bucky, let me help you” Steve answered starring daggers into Bucky’s eyes.

“Stevie not against him, you don’t deserve this in your life” Bucky said because the reality of the situation was that Steve was the one good thing that had happened in his life and he couldn’t let Brock taint Steve’s life.

“Shut the fuck up for a second, you’re not leaving, you’re not alone” Steve answered and Bucky started getting frustrated, did Steve had some mother Teresa syndrome.

“You really don’t want me as a charity case, pick up something else start helping out stray dogs or something” Bucky said in a desperate effort to make Steve agree with him.

“You’re not a charity case, you also don’t deserve what they’re doing to you and you don’t deserve to be alone against Brock or whoever else is after you” Steve shouted back at him and Bucky felt defeated because he didn’t seem to be able to get his point through to Steve.

“I’ve killed a lot of people, I’ve lost count maybe I do deserve this but you don’t” Bucky said in an effort to make Steve see reason.

“You made one bad choice and Pierce after that didn’t leave you choices he took that away, one bad choice shouldn’t bring all this down to a person, you deserve better and we can figure something out, I know I’m just an artist and I can’t possibly offer a lot against the fact that the best of the FBI is hunting you but I’m not that useless” Steve said and the determination in his eyes for some weird reason made Bucky believe him, believe that maybe Steve was right maybe he had a chance.

“You’re such a punk damn” Bucky said and found himself smiling at Steve whose eyes started beaming.

“And you’re a jerk” Bucky said teasingly.

“So what are we having for dinner? I’m feeling a cold glass of milk with some cake what do you say?” Steve asked him smiling and Bucky felt himself melt under those baby blues.

“I’m feeling the same” Bucky said and made an effort to get up and follow after Steve who had gotten up and walked over to the kitchen.

“Sit your ass down” Steve said not turning back to look at Bucky and Bucky stopped trying and sat back down. After a couple of minutes Steve was back holding a tray with two glasses, a bottle of milk, a cake that made Bucky’s mouth water, a knife and some napkins.

“It’s an orange cake with chocolate frosting, from the bakery down the road” Steve said putting the tray down on the coffee table and sitting back down.

“It looks amazing” Bucky answered smiling, he couldn’t remember the last time he had cake and this tasted as amazing as it looked. They ate their dinner in silence.

“I don’t have a guest bedroom and since you’re hurt I’ll put on some fresh sheets on my bed and you can sleep there ok?” Steve said and Bucky was incredibly amused by the fact that Steve’s cheeks turned a delicate shade of red.

“Where are you going to sleep?” Bucky asked.

“On the couch” Steve answered.

“I’m not going to kick you out of your bed, you’ll sleep on your bed” Bucky retorted back.

“Ok agree on the term that you’ll sleep there as well” Steve said raising on eyebrow in an attempt to make his point.

“Ok ok I will” Bucky agreed. Steve got up from the couch and helped Bucky up. They went to Steve’s bedroom and Steve pulled up a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt for Bucky and his worn out shorts and t-shirt the he used for pajamas. Steve walked up to the door to leave Bucky to change.

“Don’t go, I’ll end up needing your help to change anyways” Bucky said and Steve changed quickly and helped Bucky to change as well. Then Steve turned on a fan and went to lie down beside Bucky to get some much needed rest.

“Goodnight” Bucky whispered.

“Goodnight Buck get some sleep” Steve said and turned to sleep facing Bucky.

 

# ~AROUND 3:00 ~

 

Steve woke up hearing Bucky thrash and turn beside him. He opened his eyes and saw Bucky sweating bullets and clearly having a nightmare. Steve didn’t wait and nudged Bucky awake. Bucky woke up with a gasp.

“It’s ok, you’re safe, you were having a nightmare” Steve said and rubbed soothing circles on Bucky’s sweat stained back.

“I’m sorry” Bucky answered between swallow pants.

“It’s ok, let me get you a glass of water” Steve said and walked out of the bedroom towards the kitchen and Bucky was staring at his back thinking if he should tell him or not that his nightmare was about Brock hurting Steve in front of his eyes and he couldn’t do anything to stop him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky have a guest for lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some descriptions that are somewhat a beggining of a panic attack.

Bucky woke up with a gasp. He turned around waiting to see Steve still sleeping beside him but he found his side of the bed empty. He rubbed at his eyes and jumped of the bed, he started thinking of the worst, what if Brock broke into the apartment at night when he fell asleep and did something to Steve. As he was following slowly the clutter that was coming from the kitchen he was cursing himself, how could he allow himself to fall asleep? He entered the kitchen silently and sighed as he saw Steve getting to mugs from a cardboard.

“Good morning, I woke you with all the noise didn’t I?” Steve said smiling at Bucky.

“No you didn’t, I just…” Bucky trailed off, thinking that for the time being he should really keep his worries to himself.

“You what?” Steve asked with a curious look tilting his head a bit to the side.

“It’s nothing” Bucky said trying to change the subject.

“So I made some juice and I also have milk and cereal sounds good or I can make some scrambled eggs if you want and while we eat you can tell me what’s bothering you” Steve said smiling and took a glass from the cardboard, poured Bucky a glass of orange juice and offered it to him. Bucky looked at Steve and hesitantly took the glass.

“I’m ok with cereal and milk” Bucky said sipping from his juice.

“So tell me what’s up? Do you hurt anywhere I can call Bruce to come check up on you” Steve said as he was pouring milk into the mugs that he’d filled with cereal.

“Next time you wake up, you’ll wake me up as well if I’m asleep ok?” Bucky asked taking his mug.

“Ok I just thought that you needed some rest, this is about Brock right?” Steve said as they both went to sit in the living room.

“Yeah, it is. I intend to keep my promise I won’t let him or anybody else get to you and in order to do that I can’t be left to sleep in” Bucky said looking straight into Steve’s eyes in an effort to get his point through to him.

“I understand I’m sorry” Steve said and drank the rest of his left milk.

“Steve don’t apologize to me” Bucky said leaning back to the armchair and continued eating his cereal. A buzz interrupted their somewhat comfortable silence and Steve stood up to check his cellphone that was left on the kitchen counter.

“A friend wants to go out for lunch, what do I say?” Steve asked looking up at Bucky.

“If you can’t avoid it it’s better to tell him to come over here, outside there are too many variables that I can’t control” Bucky answered him.

“Ok then” Steve said and send a text.

“Who is your friend?” Bucky said as he finished his breakfast.

“His name is Tony, he might seem a bit of a douche but it’s just a façade. He owns a newspaper.” Steve said going to sit back on the couch.

“I’m gonna stay in your bedroom for the duration of the time he’s here” Bucky said thinking that he should let Steve be with his friend and not mess up his life even more.

“No you’re not, we can stick with what we told Clint I met you at the coffee shop down the street, your name is James no middle or last name and everything is going to be ok” Steve said and Bucky hesitating before nodding a yes, he couldn’t find it in himself to resist.

 

# ~ BUILDING ACROSS OF STEVE’S ~

 

“Time to give you a present Winter” Brock said smirking as he sealed a black envelope.

 

# ~ STEVE’S APARTMENT ~

 

“So do I need to change?” Bucky asked as Steve checked on the chicken he had in the oven.

“No you don’t, I won’t either” Steve said. The bell rang then and Steve ran to open the door.

“Hey man, long time. How are you?” Steve said and Bucky stood up from the chair he was sitting in the kitchen and walked slowly towards the living room.

“You didn’t tell me I’m interrupting a date. Hey there I’m Anthony Stark, you can call me Tony” Tony said extending his hand to Bucky.

“I’m James” Bucky said shaking Tony’s hand. He was studying the man dark brown hair around his thirties, jeans, a Black Sabbath t-shirt and sneakers, he seemed familiar to Bucky but he couldn’t quite place where he’d seen him. Tony pulled him in for a hug and it dawned on Bucky he’d seen him in one of his missions. Bucky pulled back from the hug and tried to keep on a calm mask. The mission was to kill both of Tony’s parents and he had managed to do it and make it look like an accident.

“I need to go to the bathroom for a minute I’m sorry” Bucky said and almost run to the bathroom leaving Steve and Tony starring at his back. Bucky entered the bathroom and closed the door behind him.  
He splashed some called water on his face trying to calm down. He knew what he’d done, but this was the first time the consequences of his actions stared back at him and ironically enough hugged him. Steve’s friend was left orphan because of him. He wiped his face and walked back out seeing Steve and Tony sitting on the couch chatting. He walked towards them when the doorbell rang again.

“Are we waiting for anyone else?” Tony asked looking at both Steve and Bucky.

“No” Steve answered and Bucky walked towards the door. He looked from the eye hole and didn’t see anyone he then opened the door and saw a black folder on the doormat. He picked it up and closed the door behind him.

“What is it?” Steve asked. Bucky opened the folder with trembling hands because he knew exactly who this was from. He poured the contents on his metal arm three small white pills and a little note. Bucky opened it up and read.

 _"I see you were having guests and thought I’d bring in the party favors. I’m coming for you Winter._  
_X"_

Bucky dropped the note and the pills from his hand and fell to his knees.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky after opening the envelope panicks and Steve with the help of Tony bring him back to reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky experiences a flashback or a kind of panic attack. So please keep it in mind and it might be graphic to some so please do not read if it's something triggering to you. Please read the updated tags. Also there are references and hints to past abuse.

“James look at me, James are you ok? What’s going on?” Steve asked frantically, he was on his knees in front of Bucky trying to make him answer him or at least look at him.

“What is his name? His full name” Tony said as he got up and got beside Steve.

“James Buchanan Barnes” Steve said not caring about the fact that he’d just violated what he’d agreed upon with Bucky, as long as it helped to get Bucky to respond back because in the past ten minutes he was panting on his hands and knees with his eyes fixed on the floor.

“James Buchanan Barnes listen to me, you’re in a safe environment, I’m not going to hurt you and neither will Steve, nod once if you can understand what I’m saying to you” Tony uttered with a concerned expression. To Steve’s relief Bucky nodded once.

“Keep on talking to him until he comes back” Tony said standing up and sitting back on the couch.

“What do I say?” Steve said looking at Tony confused.

“Make sure he knows that he’s safe and nobody here will hurt him, he’s having a kind of flashback or his memory has gone back to a certain event. He understands that it’s not real, it’s just that it’s not easy to come back from them, you just need to be there until he does” Tony said and sipped on his glass of wine.

“How do you know this?” Steve said keeping an eye on Bucky.

“I used to get them after my parents died, I still do at times, it’s something that never really goes away. Now let’s see what your friend here has a problem with. I see you were having guests and thought I’d bring in the party favors. I’m coming for you Winter. X” Tony left the paper on the table and turned to look at Steve with an arched eyebrow waiting for an answer.

“I, I don’t know let’s just wait until he comes back. Buck you’re safe, you’re in my living room with me, Tony here is a friend, nobody is going to hurt you, you’re safe here” Steve continued murmuring to Bucky. Bucky snapped his head up and looked straight into Steve’s eyes, Steve was startled starring back into Bucky’s grey blue eyes that were stained with tears.

“And welcome back” Tony uttered sarcastically from the couch.

“Throw them out the window” Bucky panted staring at Steve.

“Ok ok just give me a second to find them and I’ll throw them out” Steve said and turned around to start searching for the pills.

“I got two of them” Tony said handing two of the pills to Steve, who found the other one beside the couch.

“Throw them out” Bucky said raising his head to look at Steve and Tony. Steve didn’t need to be told again and he walked up to the nearest window opened it and threw them out.

“Hey come on buddy let’s get you up on the couch, and Steve go check on the chicken cause I think it’s burning” Tony said and pulled Bucky up on the couch with a grunt. Steve run to the kitchen to turn off the oven and came back.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Steve asked looking at Bucky as he sat back on the armchair.

“Not now” Bucky murmured back.

“So Steve how about you go serve us some of the delicious chicken of yours and I’ll stay here with James” Tony said smiling at Steve as he took another sip of his wine. Steve went to the kitchen again hesitantly leaving Bucky with Tony.

“I know it’s hard to talk about whatever that was, but talk to Steve about it sometimes it helps talking to someone and on another note that arm of yours is one mesmerizing piece of tech” Tony said smirking as Steve came back with a tray.

“It’s not mesmerizing and sometimes it’s a pain in the ass” Bucky said starring back because nothing about the arm and what happened to him was mesmerizing but he couldn’t share that with Tony.

“Tony maybe we can talk about something else” Steve said noticing how Bucky started feeling uneasy. They continued with their lunch chatting about anything trivial. A little after they finished Tony left. Bucky waited for Steve to close the door before he started talking.

“The envelope was from Brock the guy that came in the gallery. He signed it X because his codename is crossbones and X is his thing if you will. They used to call me Winter Soldier. The pills…” Bucky trailed off not knowing exactly how to explain what had happened, or if Steve even wanted to hear it.

“Buck if you don’t want to talk about it, it’s ok” Steve said as he walked back to sit beside Bucky.

“No, I, after they’d finished the procedures of putting on the arm, I went on missions and after them they’d force on me these pills. They probably cause memory loss because I don’t remember it all, I don’t know maybe it’s just trauma and my brain has shut off. After taking them I’d wake up disoriented…” Bucky trailed off because he could at least spare Steve the details of in which state he’d woken up. Steve didn’t need to know about it too.

“Buck you’re safe here, I got rid of the pills you’re ok” Steve muttered reaching out a cautious hand to Bucky’s shoulder.

“Is it ok if I hug you?” Steve asked feeling ridiculous about it but somehow he felt it necessary. Bucky didn’t answer but gave him an emphatic nod and it was all Steve needed to hear. He turned Bucky towards him and gave him a hug that he’d poured everything he had into it because he felt that it was what he could offer at that moment and surprisingly for him Bucky returned the hug and leaned into Steve placing his head on Steve’s shoulder. They stayed like that until the telephone interrupted them and Bucky broke off from the hug snapping his head towards the ringing sound.

“Pick it up” Bucky said turning his head back at Steve. Steve stood up and went to pick up the phone.

“Hey” Steve answered and froze at the voice that greeted him back. He put the phone on speaker.

“Hello there, were you two going to kiss and I interrupted? How are you doing Winter?” Brock’s voice came from the phone.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The phone call with Brock and Steve making a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's referenced past sexual abuse in this chapter. So please if it's a sensitive matter or something trigering to you do not read. Also read the tags first before continueing.

“What do you want from me?” Bucky muttered.

“First things first, does your new boyfriend know what you did to Tony Stark’s parents?” Brock answered. Steve noticed how Bucky curled in on himself on the couch and how his kept his eyes fixed on the phone.

“From the silence I’m gonna guess that Winter is curled on the couch and Steve you’re looking at him trying to get anything out of him, a signal maybe as to what the hell I’m talking about. Dear James has assassinated both of the Starks and made it look like an accident, see he meddled with the car and from a distance he shot the engine and that’s how your friend Tony is now orphan. After that mission we returned to base and Bucky here had some chest pains from the arm and he took some of the pills, you know the ones I had in the folder very rude of you to throw them away, after a little bit he became such a good and pliant boy and I and the rest of the backup team celebrated accordingly with him, every single inch of him. I should inform you Steve that he loves the praise so much.” By the time Brock finished Bucky was in tears and panting with his knees in his chest.

“Do you want something?” Steve said with a stern tone hoping that it’d make Brock shut up and leave them alone, because his heart broke seeing this unfold in front of him. From the stuff Bucky told he imagined that he’d been through hell but seeing this happen in front of him was somehow different.

“Yeah I want Winter here to come back with me, do you need a window to say your goodbyes?” Brock continued his mocking and Steve got angry because nobody deserved to be treated like that and he thought that Bucky was in for a world of pain if Brock took him back.

“No, he won’t come with you, never again. He chose to walk away from you and you should leave him alone and pass that on to your boss.” Steve said and ended the call.

“Buck…” Steve muttered as he saw Bucky rocking back and forth on the couch.

“You realize what you just did? Steve he’ll come after both of us now and believe me you don’t deserve that happen to you, not for a guy that is responsible for the death of your friend’s parents and for many other people” Bucky said looking up at Steve.

“It’s a past that you didn’t choose and it’s something they made you do, I told you before and my opinion doesn’t change, it just happens that two of those people were Tony’s parents. Also what about the fact that you deserve better than this?” Steve said and sat down on the couch beside Bucky.

“I don’t know how to get away from them Stevie” Bucky sighed and turned his head around to look at Steve.

“We can figure something out Bucky. I told you I’m just an artist I don’t have any experience in these things but I’m not completely useless. Also I wanted to ask are you willing to maybe let me get some of my friends over to see if we can all figure out something?” Steve asked hesitantly thinking that maybe the more people were on this maybe they could all figure out something.

“Steve this isn’t a project, we’re talking life or death here. It’s already bad enough that you’re involved.” Bucky answered staring back at Steve’s baby blue eyes.

“I want to be involved” Steve said and reached a cautious hand to touch Bucky’s shoulder as he was trying to make his point.

“You’re… I don’t know how this is going to turn out but no matter what happens thank you” Bucky said as more tears slipped from his eyes. He didn’t know what else to say to Steve and it wasn’t exactly easy to him to say the words that you’re more than I could ever wish and hope for.

“Everything is going to turn out ok” Steve said and felt Bucky leaning into his arms and placing his head in his chest. Steve didn’t dare move, he brushed his hands through Bucky’s hair and after a couple of hours he didn’t know if he continued because it helped Bucky or it helped ground him, because on the back of his mind there was the thought that maybe a couple of hours ago he had signed both his and Bucky’s death sentence by what he did. Bucky had fallen sound asleep and Steve tried to move and place Bucky’s head on some of the couch pillows to let him get some rest. He brought a little fuzzy blanket he had and put it on Bucky’s feet.

Steve thought that maybe he’d try calling on some of his friends to see if they could all figure something out, but they could talk about it again tomorrow, Bucky needed the rest. He got up and searched around a bit for a sketch pad and some pencils. He got back to the armchair of the couch and started sketching Bucky. It didn’t matter to him how creepy this was, he somehow felt that he needed to capture this moment of peace.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky go for a walk in the park. Things aren't exactly that easy though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry for the late update. So in this chapter there are mentions of people controlling what a person eats, if this a sensitive subject to you please don't read. Read the tags first before continue reading the chapter.

Bucky woke up in the middle of the night with a gasp. His nightmares had changed now and it terrified him, he used to see the faces of his victims and what Brock and the others used to do to him, but now things had changed. Steve had apparently crawled in under the cracks and now his nightmares were about Brock getting to Steve.

He turned around on the couch and saw Steve being asleep on the armchair with a pad and curiosity got the best of him and he got up. He walked silently and stood beside the armchair. He leaned in and took a look. The drawing got him startled, he studied it, clean lines, perfect shading, Steve had made him look almost human.

“Wake up” Bucky said and nudged Steve’s shoulder. Steve grunted and brushed away Bucky’s hand murmuring some nonsense.

“Wake up Steve” Bucky said again more firmly and close to Steve’s ear trying to get him to wake up.

“Ok…” Steve trailed off with a sleepy voice.

“You need to go to bed and sleep” Bucky said and Steve got startled and turned around to look at him.

“Oh my… I swear I wasn’t trying to be creepy… I just, you were there and I just wanted to do something and I didn’t really try my best and I’m sorry it’s not that good” Steve rumbled looking at Bucky panicked, Bucky found a smile creeping up on his expression from everything Steve said.

“Relax, I’m not mad it’s really nice” Bucky said smiling back at a still panicked Steve. Steve nodded back at him and got up to get to the bedroom. Steve entered the bedroom with Bucky behind him, he got on one side of the bed. Bucky studied him for a moment thinking if he should get on the other side, or probably just go sleep on the couch to prevent another nightmare of waking up both of them.

“Why aren’t you coming?” Steve asked with a confused look.

“It’s just that I have nightmares and maybe it’d be better if I sleep on the couch” Bucky said and Steve narrowed his eyebrows staring at Bucky.

“You’re sleeping here. You need to rest as well and if you have nightmares it’s probably better to have someone sleep beside you, to wake you up from them. At least I think it should work” Steve said and motioned for Bucky to join him.

Around ten in the morning the phone buzzed on the nightstand, waking up both Bucky and Steve. Steve reached to the phone and answered it.

“Hey Bruce how’s it going?” Steve said sitting up on the bed.

“No, it’s ok… yeah sure we’ll be here” Steve said and ended the call.

“What did he want?” Bucky asked turning to face Steve.

“He just wanted to check up on you, he asked if he could come by when his shift at the hospital finishes.” Steve said.

“He doesn’t have to” Bucky said staring into Steve’s eyes.

“That’s just how he is. He cares a lot for the people he sees, so this is also him trying to be ok with himself” Steve said.

“Ok then” Bucky nodded back.

“So what do you say we go get some coffees and a muffin or something from the coffee shop down the road and got to the park?” Steve said smiling.

“What?” Bucky asked confused considering what had happened last night.

“I am sorry, I thought that maybe it’s Sunday and you’d maybe want to get out, I don’t know if you’ve been at the park it’s four blocks down the road. I thought maybe it would help to get some fresh air and you could stretch your legs… I don’t know it’s probably stupid” Steve trailed off and lowered his eyes.

“No, it’s just that after what happened last night with Brock. Steve I don’t know where he is and what if he comes at us in public?” Bucky muttered trying to save the situation and not make Steve hate him.

“It’s Sunday there are a lot of people there and maybe that could be a way of showing them that he can’t control you” Steve said looking up at Bucky. Bucky didn’t have to consider it a lot to come to the conclusion that Steve was right but he thought that he would let Brock control him again if it meant keeping Steve out of harms way.

“I, you’re right let’s go.” Bucky said and felt a warmth spread through him, at the big smile that spread across Steve’s face. They got ready with Steve helping Bucky dress. They locked up and walked down the stairs with Steve supporting Bucky.

Their walk to the coffee shop passed without any problems but Bucky couldn’t help but scan everyone and everything around them, he couldn’t mess up, he had to be on high alert. Steve got into the coffee shop, while Bucky waited impatiently outside never taking his eyes from Steve. Steve walked out a little later with two coffees and some croissants.

“Let’s get going to the park before the croissants get cold” Steve said smiling at him. They continued their walk down the road and little before the got to the park Bucky almost had a heart attack and pushed Steve out of the way of a running cat.

“Hey, it’s ok it’s a cat, you’re ok it’s just a cat” Steve said searching Bucky’s eyes.

“Let’s just go to the park” Bucky said trying to catch his breath, he thought that he’d better leave unsaid the fact that he was scared for Steve. They got to the park with Bucky always scanning the people around them. Steve walked over a trail that lead to a bench with some trees around it.

“Right here, I like this spot so much” Steve said and sat on the bench motioning for Bucky to join him.

“Why?” Bucky asked as he sat down wanting to know more.

“Notice how the sun goes through the buildings ahead, I know it’s cheesy as hell but I can’t help myself I love all these colors. Now let’s eat before they get cold, I didn’t know what you liked so I thought I’d get one of each kind” Steve said opening up the box and revealing the croissants. Bucky felt his mouth water.

“So we have chocolate filling, berry filling, lemon curd, banana, caramel, and plain with some extra butter” Steve said taking a sip from his coffee.

“Which one do you like?” Bucky asked.

“Not telling you, just pick whatever you like” Steve said.

“I don’t want to take the one you like” Bucky said confused because he really didn’t want to do that, and he knew that he was wrong and Steve wasn’t like that but deep down Bucky couldn’t help but being afraid that Steve could be mad at him for doing something wrong.

“Buck come on I am not picky, maybe it’d be easier if you pick the top three in no particular order” Steve said smirking.

“It’s been a really long time I’m sorry” Bucky said looking down and thinking that it really has been years since he could choose what he could eat.

“It’s gonna be your choice Buck, every time” Steve said putting his hand on Bucky’s chin and turning him gently to look at him.

“Chocolate, berry and the lemon curd” Bucky said lost to Steve’s eyes. They ate their breakfast and enjoyed the park. They got back to the apartment around lunch time without any problem to Bucky’s surprise.

 

# ~ STEVE’S APARTMENT AROUND 10:10 ~

 

The doorbell buzzed and Steve got up from the couch to open up at Bruce. Bruce got inside the apartment with a perplexed look.

“There was this man downstairs, he said he was from work and he told me to give you this” Bruce said handing Steve a USB.

“How did he look?” Bucky asked from the couch.

“Tall, dark hair, well built, who was he?” Bruce asked as Steve brought his laptop and plugged in the USB. In the USB file there was a video, Steve clicked on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About the thing with a croissants at the park, i don't know if it came out as silly or not, but i wanted it to come out as a person being presented with a simple choice and not knowing what to do after having years of people controlling every single thing he did.  
> What do you guys think is on the USB ?


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve, Bucky and Bruce watch the video on the USB and discuss what their next move will be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm such a piece of shit for the late update.  
> I'm really sorry for taking so long. I hope you guys enjoy and i'll try and make up for the long time that i didn't make an update.

In the video played surveillance footage of a warehouse. There were three people, one woman and two men, they were sitting in three different desks and in the far corner a tall dark figure came into view, dressed in black cargo pants, combat boots a leather jacket that looked like a kevlar armor, gloves, a mask that covered the lower half of his face and black goggles.

“That’s me, I go in one bullet to the blond man’s head, one to the brunet’s, I leave the woman for last and I snap her neck” Bucky said looking at the video with a stern expression. The events in the video unfolded exactly like he said. The video footage ended and the screen went black and a message was written on the video.

“We have a lot of other footage and you confessing to a couple of the murders you made, turn up at the park at 2.30 or I’m coming for your blonde friend and for you. X”

“Tell me again what is it that you do?” Bruce asked with a mortified expression not taking his eyes from the screen.

“I killed people for the FBI and on occasion the DEA.” Bucky said bluntly. 

“Steve what the fuck?” Bruce said turning Steve’s chair around in one swift move so that Steve would face him.

“He’s not telling you the whole story. Pierce was forcing him after a while” Steve said staring back at Bruce.

“Are you hearing yourself right now? After a while that means he gave his consent in the beginning” Bruce shouted into Steve’s face.

“Damn it Bucky, you either tell him or I will” Steve said turning to look at Bucky who had turned his back at both of them.

“I’m a cold bloodied psychopath, I killed whoever Pierce told me without asking questions. I’ve killed over fifty people in the past four years.” Bucky said bluntly as he tried to drain every emotion from his voice in hopes that Bruce would kick him out or call the police and end everything right there. He hoped that Bruce would make the call and keep Steve safe from him and his past.

“Stop lying, Bruce you told me yourself, you saw the marks on his body. You told me that someone would have beaten him to a bloody mess, whipped him. That is not consent in my book. He didn’t know what he was getting into and now they won’t let him go.” Steve said trying to convince Bruce.

“Ok then. You need to call Thor right now” Bruce said as he walked over to sit on the armchair near him.

“Who is Thor?” Bucky asked looking at Bruce confused.

“Yeah we can try that” Steve said and reached for his cellphone.

“Wait stop, who is Thor?” Bucky asked turning and reaching to stop Steve.

“He’s a detective and a friend, he can tell us what to do about this” Steve said trying to nudge off Bucky’s metal grip.

“What we’ll do about this is that at 2.30 I’ll be at the park. I’m not letting anyone of them come near you” Bucky retorted back frustrated. Far too many people were getting involved and he couldn’t let anything happen to Steve, he’d promised to himself and to Steve’s friend, this was the one good thing he could do.

“Sit down and shut the fuck up” Bruce shouted from the armchair and both Bucky and Steve turned around to look at him almost scared.

“I’m calling him” Steve said and took the cell with his other hand and called.

“Hey man, I have a real emergency… I’m ok, I just need you to come from my place right now… Thanks” Steve said and ended the call.

“What did he say?” Bruce asked.

“He’ll be here in ten minutes tops” Steve said. 

“Did you threaten Steve?” Bruce asked staring daggers into Bucky.

“Bruce he didn’t” Steve said irritated.

“All due respect Steve, I’m talking to him and I want him to answer not you” Bruce said and turn to stare back at Bucky.

“I get that you’re overprotective of him and I get it, so am i. Steve talked me of a ledge a few days ago literally. I’m not going to let anyone from my past hurt him I told you that and I’m planning to keep my promise.” Bucky answered back and went to sit at the couch rubbing his head.

“You can’t go back to them” Steve said and went to sit beside Bucky on the couch.

“If it means them staying away from you, yes I’m going back to them” Bucky retorted back and tried to make clear that he wasn’t taking a no for an answer.

“Bucky think about this we’re talking about the people that, you can’t go back. You deserve better” Steve said.

“No you deserve a whole lot better than me, I know Pierce and Brock and their little minions I’d rather die than let anyone of them near you” Bucky retorted back every single one of his thoughts, because he knew all of them and what they were capable of and he wasn’t going to let them anywhere near the one good thing in his life. 

“When you say Pierce, you mean Alexander Pierce director of the FBI?” Bruce asked.

“Yes, I mean him” Bucky said turning to look at Bruce. A knock on the door interrupted them. Steve stood up and went to answer the door.

“What’s up?” a voice came from the door and a tall blonde man with a ponytail entered, dressed in dark blue jeans and a red t-shirt.

“We’re in a bit of a situation and we need your help” Steve said and closed the door behind him.

“Oh hey Bruce, hi I’m Thor Odinson and you are?” Thor said extending his hand to Bucky.

“I’m James Buchanan Barnes assassin for the FBI” Bucky said shaking Thor’s hand with his metal one.

“Wait what?” Thor asked in utter confusion.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky explained his story to Thor.  
> Now they decide how to handle the threat of Brock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always read the tags, I hope you enjoy ;)

“I…” Thor mumbled in utter shock.

“Thor get it together we have two hours to figure something out” Steve said looking at Thor’s confused expression, who could blame him though, Steve thought, Bucky explained to him the situation and Steve noticed a look of confusion in both of his friends faces.

“We don’t have to figure anything out, now that Thor knows, he can protect you if they come after you” Bucky said and starred at Thor.

“I could book Brock for harassment or aggravated assault if I see him come at Bucky. Chances are though that someone would let him out, I mean he’s the right hand man of Pierce” Thor said rubbing at his neck.

“We could kidnap Brock” Bruce suggested.

“Are you insane?” Bucky turned irritated at Bruce.

“Am I? I could give you a syringe with an extra something that will knock him out in a matter of seconds, you stick it in him problem over” Bruce answered him raising an eyebrow.

“And then he’ll do what exactly? We’re talking professional killers here. He won’t be alone in that park” Thor retorted back.

“Then we fight them” Steve mumbled.

“You do not get near them, they are gonna kill you in a matter of seconds.” Bucky shouted back in frustration, he had a hard time accepting Steve’s attitude on the situation and now his friends were making it a whole lot worse.

“Look, we need to get through this and after that I’m gonna talk to Loki.” Thor said.

“Who the fuck is Loki?” Bucky said as he got up with frustration.

“He’s a son of a bitch but the best lawyer I’ve met. He could figure something out maybe Steve could file something against Brock and probably Loki would know the right people that would not let things slide because they’re afraid. We get through this and we call him right away” Thor explained and Bucky saw frustrated both Steve and Bruce nod back emphatically at him.

“Have you people lost it? They’re going to come after you! They’ll destroy all of you” Bucky shouted and run to the bathroom. He couldn’t believe what was happening. The situation spiraling out of his control and it was going to get Steve and his friends killed. The park is going to be their grave and he couldn’t let it happen, not the one good thing in his life. He felt panic starting to creep up on him for the first time in his life after years he felt afraid for what he’d caused to Steve. He splashed some cold water on his face trying to get himself together.

“We haven’t lost it you know. Bruce became a doctor so that he could help people, I became a police officer so that I could keep people safe and Steve, Steve is that one dude in a million people that you wish you could be” Thor said leaning against the bathroom door.

“Listen to me, chances are things are going to go to hell at that park, promise me you’ll keep him safe” Bucky said as he supported himself on the sink and looked at Thor through the mirror.

“Don’t talk like that, like you’re not going to make it. I’ll keep an eye out for him” Thor nodded.

“You know for an assassin you’re one strange fella.” Thor said with a smile.

“I told you I didn’t know what I was getting into” Bucky said and turned to look at Thor.

“Yes I know. I also know that Steve seems to care a lot about you so please don’t do anything stupid and do not underestimate my abilities in a fight, it offends me” Thor winked at him and walked back to the living room with Bucky following him.

“So I’m gonna need to examine you now, make sure you’re healing fine” Bruce said as he looked up at Bucky and Thor.

“Ok, help me?” Bucky said and looked at Steve, who had already gotten up to help him take off his t-shirt. After a few grants they managed to get the t-shirt off.

“Whoa” Thor muttered as he stared at Bucky’s torso, Bucky thought for a minute that his eyes were going to pop out of his skull.

“Thor” Steve said and looked at him with an irritated tone. Bucky found himself almost letting a smile slip his lips at Steve’s reaction.

“It’s ok, it’s a something you don’t see much” Bucky huffed as Bruce started checking over his wounds.

“It’s something that you don’t see period and it’s something that in fact I shouldn’t be seeing. What is wrong with people come on” Thor said frustrated and continued scanning over Bucky’s scars and both old and new wounds.

“Does this hurt?” Bruce said and put some pressure on the wound on his shoulder.

“No, not really but to be honest I don’t really know.” Bucky said after giving it some thought, he didn’t really feel pain he’d been through much worse than that wound, and that was pain real pain but if Bruce asked maybe he should feel pain there. He couldn’t really tell.

“You’re healing fine, keep on cleaning the wounds and you’re going to be ok” Bruce said as he pulled of his examination gloves.

“Thank you” Bucky nodded at him.

“Nah, just make sure you’re going to be ok” Bruce said.

“Maybe you could stay and we’d figure something out as we go along” Steve said as he helped Bucky put back on his t-shirt.

“No, he said he’s going to come after you, he also knows Bruce face. I’m going.” Bucky said as he sat back down on the couch.

“I’m going to go with him Steve.” Thor said.

“No, stay here, watch over them” Bucky retorted back at him.

“And who’s going to watch over you?” Thor answered with a mockingly raised eyebrow.

“I’m an assassin I’m highly capable of watching over myself” Bucky said because the last couple of years he learned how to recognize an upcoming bloodbath and Thor coming with him had bloody mess written all over it.

“Yeah blah blah blah, I’m coming along deal with it. Listen to me we’re not going to go there holding hands, I’m going to tail you see who dear Brock brought as a company.“ Thor continued with a wide smirk on his face.

“Both of you be careful” Bruce said as he put his tools back in his bag. 

“And please both of you come back, Bucky can I talk to you?” Steve said and got up from the couch and went into his bedroom. Bucky got up and followed him closing the door behind him.

“Please, I get it that I can’t talk you out of this but please be careful and come back” Steve said.

“I want to be honest with you. I’ll make sure Thor comes back. If they don’t kill me, I’ll come back. If they do…”

“Make sure they don’t and come back” Steve said and got out of the bedroom.

“We need to go if we want to be there in time” Thor said as he looked up at Steve and Bucky who came back from the bedroom.

“Let’s go then” Bucky said and Thor got up.

“Bye guys, see you later” Thor said and got out the door.

Bucky hesitated a bit, turned around and saw Steve stare at him. 

“I’ll see you” Bucky said and walked out of the apartment.

“So we’re gonna gear up first” Thor said and walked over to a black audi that Bucky thought was his car. He opened the trunk and pushed over a couple of things and pushed over the bottom. Bucky was surprised at the reveal of four guns, two shotguns and a couple of hunting knives.

“I like to be prepared?” Thor said sarcastically as he looked at Bucky’s surprised expression.

“Ok then” Bucky said and grabbed two guns with their holsters and three knives. He hid two in his boots and one in one of the hostler of the guns. Thor picked up the other two guns two brass knuckles that Bucky hadn’t noticed and two knives.

“Thank you for coming with me” Bucky said as Thor closed up his car.

“Thank me if we get out of this” Thor said.

“Look if I tell you to run, you go, and please protect Steve” Bucky stopped and looked up at Thor. He needed to know that there was someone capable of protecting Steve because deep down he wasn’t sure that Brock was going to leave Steve alone.

“I told you not to talk like that, like you’re not going to make it” Thor said.

“Promise me” Bucky said with a stern look.

“Ok ok sure, but please don’t do anything stupid. Steve really cares for you and it would devastate him” Thor answered back at him.

“One more thing, the cartel that did this to you, which one is it?” Thor asked pointing at his metal arm.

“habitación roja” Bucky said. They continued the rest of the walk to the park in silence. They reached the south entrance of the park and Thor stopped.

“Good luck man, I’m gonna shadow you” Thor said and waited for Bucky to go inside the park and after a while he followed him.

Bucky started walking slowly. He scanned around but didn’t see anyone after two minutes of walking he met a couple kissing, chances were they worked for Brock, but didn’t initiate anything against him. He couldn’t spot Thor beside him so he continued walking. 

“What’s up Winter?” Bucky stopped dead cold, he turned around and noticed a person standing up from a bench and walking over towards him, Brock.

“You made it real hard for me” Brock said as he came and stood right in front of him.

“So I take it you’re coming with me right?” Brock continued with a sarcastic tone. Bucky thought that he’d take his chances and fight Brock, his backup didn’t seem anywhere in sight so he pulled out the knife from his hostler.

“You really want to take that chance Winter?” Brock said and Bucky noticed three people approaching them from the left, they were dragging someone. Bucky turned and saw that it was Thor and he was beaten unconscious but Bucky feared deep down that they killed him and his wishful thinking kicked in.

“He’s alive for now and so is your new boyfriend, bring him in boys” Brock shouted and Bucky turned around horrified and saw two men dragging Steve who was struggling to get free from their grip. They approached and pushed Steve on his knees. One of them pulled out a gun and pointed it at the back of Steve’s head. Bucky turned back to look at Brock as he felt his heart jackhammer in his chest. He couldn’t believe this was happening.

“What’s it going to be Winter? Are you going to come or do I spill your boyfriend’s brains out?”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky makes the one obvious decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the tags before continueing, i've added a little bit in them cause of this chapter. If it's a sensitive subject in there for you please read with caution or do not read.

Bucky took a deep breath trying to calm himself down. Out of all the outcomes he could have thought of this was not on his list. He hadn’t let himself think what would happen if Brock snatched Steve. He assessed the situation carefully, but he came to the same conclusion that was his first thought, he couldn’t risk anything because it was going to get both Steve and Thor killed. He sank down on his knees and interlocked his fingers behind his head.

“Please, let them go. I’m all yours” Bucky pleaded because he knew that he wasn’t even in a position to negotiate for Brock to let them go.

“And you sink down on your knees so easily. Now I’m just tempted to bring Stevie here along with us, if it gets you this cooperative so easily” Brock said sarcastically as he came closer to Bucky.

“I’ll do whatever you want, please I haven’t asked you for anything let them go” Bucky said and kept his eyes to the ground, he thought that if he showed he was submissive enough Brock was going to do what he asked.

“Ok ok Winter I’ll let them go, just for you” Brock said nodded over to the people holding Steve down to leave him alone.

“Buck” Steve sighed as he got up from the ground.

“Take Thor and go” Bucky mumbled not daring to look up at Steve. He couldn’t let himself break in front of Brock, not now.

“Buck…” Steve said again and Bucky could hear in his voice what would break him if he dared to look at Steve.

“GO” Bucky shouted.

Bucky heard Steve support Thor and their footsteps getting further away from him.

“Bind him” Brock said and Bucky felt himself being pushed into the ground. He let them manhandle him into handcuffs without fighting because Steve and Thor weren’t far away enough yet, he knew that if they wanted they could get them in a matter of minutes. After they were done they made him stand up.

“Now let’s go home” Brock said as he yanked back his hear and make Bucky look at him.

They walked in silence through the park and they reached a black SUV that was waiting for them in front of the north exit of the park. They shoved him inside and Bucky grunted as his injuries throbbed with pain from landing inside the SUV with a loud thud.

“I missed you Winter” Brock said as he sat opposite of Bucky.

“What do you want from me?” Bucky asked.

“Basically Pierce wants you back, loose ends is not in his dictionary and we both know you’ve done extraordinary work and he wants you to continue” Brock said smirking back at him.

“What if I want out, I’m not going to say anything. Who the fuck is going to believe me anyways?” Bucky said thinking that maybe he could reason with Brock.

“You want out? You’re funny” Brock said staring at him. Bucky started thinking again, they’ve tied him up really securely with ropes and wires, no handcuffs he could easily get out of them Brock knew that, one powerful snap on his wrist, but now he couldn’t get out of how they’ve tied him.

“Please will you leave Steve and his friends out of this?” Bucky pleaded again because he knew that things weren’t looking good for him but he could at least make sure Steve was going to be safe.

“The little blondie really gets you going. How was he in bed? Does he fuck so good that you’re so mesmerized and willing to plead down on your knees for him?” Brock asked him and Bucky felt every little bit of venom that dripped from his words.

“I’ll do whatever you want” Bucky answered him sighing. Then the SUV came to a sudden stop that startled Bucky.

“We’re here” Brock said.

 

# ~ STEVE’S APARTMENT ~

 

“Urghhh shit” Bruce cursed as he came back into consciousness.

“Bruce help me with him” Steve said as he tried to handle Thor who was drifting in and out of consciousness.

“What happened? I remember a loud sound and light and a thud on my head and then lights out.” Bruce asked worried. 

“A grenade of some sort, I think they got me and brought me to the park to blackmail Bucky and now they’ve got him” Steve said and didn’t allow himself to think of the events of the park more he needed to make sure Thor was ok.

“Check up on him” Steve said and pointed towards Thor’s unconscious form.

“Talk to me Steve” Bruce said as he got up and walked towards Thor.

“He gave up, he gave up, he fucking gave himself up, even sank down on his knees and surrendered. Why would he?” Steve mumbled feeling his breath get lost and panic gripping him.

“Steve tell me exactly what happened maybe we can figure something out, where they took him” Bruce said while Thor grunted awake now.

“Fuck!” Steve shouted because Bucky gave up so he could be safe, he gave up himself for him and Steve with one swift motion flipped his coffee table.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets some much needed help in the effort to find Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tags are updated so please read them before the chapter and if you find a sensitive subject for you please do not read or read with caution.  
> At the end of the chapter there's graphic descriptions of torture and non consensual drug use so if it's a sensitive subject please do not read.

# ~ STEVE’S APARTMENT ~

“How incompetent are you people?” Loki almost shouted with a frustrated expression.

“On a scale of one to you I think we’re doing pretty good, now I called you so that you’ll help us out here” Thor retorted back at him.

“You should have called me earlier I could have gotten you some papers for him in no time, also those arrogant idiots we’re going to file a lawsuit a mile or so long and a restraining order” Loki said and loosened his tie.

“Ok we’ll do it, can you get me the papers for Bucky?” Steve asked with a sigh, he wasn’t sure about trusting Loki but if he was good enough for Thor he was ok with him.

“Of course I can, you’ll have them by the end of the week plus I’m going to get the proper paperwork ready so they won’t be able to come near you” Loki said and leaned back.

“You need to be sure where you’ll file it though because we’re talking about Pierce here” Thor said again for what Steve thought was the thirty seventh time.

“Will you please stop insulting me, of course I’m going to be careful” Loki snickered back.

“Thank you so much” Steve said because he didn’t know what else to say or offer anymore, he had silenced so far a little voice in his mind that was saying to him that he was out of his depth but he couldn’t anymore.

“You don’t need to thank me, I’ll settle this with blondie over here” Loki said winking back at Steve.

“Ha you wish Loki” Thor retorted back smiling, Steve found their bickering relaxing somehow.

“Ha I don’t ever wish, I’m sure. I’m going to leave you now, I have work to do, I’ll be in touch, here are my numbers you contact me if they approach you again. Have a good morning” Loki said as he stood up and took his briefcase. Thor stood up as well and walked with Loki towards the door and Steve noticed Loki whispering something that looked like a be careful to Thor before he left.

“He’s a weird fellah” Bruce said repositioning his glasses on his nose.

“He’s going to help. Now problem is how do we find him?” Thor said as he came to sit back on the armchair.

“Look I have involved you enough…” Steve sighed trying to find the right words that were going to make both Thor and Bruce stay out of it and won’t make him seem like an ass.

“Stop being stupid, in order to find him you’ll need as many people as you can get, who knows what hell hole they’ll keep him into” Bruce sighed.

“I’ll put a word out to some people and also someone needs to be here at all times in case he comes back.” Thor mumbled as he searched through his pockets for his cellphone.

“I’m going to stay here, Steve are you listening to me?” Bruce said trying to catch Steve’s attention who had spaced out.

“I’m sorry, sure” Steve nodded back. He couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened in the park and how helpless and useless he felt.

“I’m gonna go I’ll be in touch” Thor said and walked out of the apartment nodding back a goodbye.

“What is it with you and him?” Bruce asked as soon as Thor had left the apartment.

“What they’re doing to him is wrong” Steve sighed no knowing exactly how to respond to what Bruce had asked him, because he could just let the whole thing go and continue on like it never happened but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“When I saw him on the rooftop he was ready to jump, he was going to do it and the little things he told me, he kept thanking me for the most insignificant things. In the park, there was the psycho that kept on harassing us and the way he treated Bucky it was so wrong in so many different levels” Steve mumbled without knowing if what said would make any sense to Bruce.

“Ok then, you know that maybe we should talk with Clint” Bruce huffed nodding in acceptance.

“I don’t want him to be bothered with this, he got away from everything a long time ago, he should stay out of it” Steve said because he knew the pain and everything it had caused Clint to get away from his past.

“Yeah too bad I texted Natasha thirty minutes ago, they should be here any minute now” Bruce mumbled back at him.

“Are you kidding me right now? You know what Clint has been through” Steve shouted back at Bruce.

“Clint is more tough than he looks and what better way to show to him that we trust him with something this serious” Bruce answered him with a calm voice.

“Yeah he is tough that doesn’t mean he should be involved in this. The whole thing with the fallout with the circus almost caused him his life” Steve stood up frustrated and started pacing up and down the living room.

“I know Steve, I was his doctor and I’m telling you that he can handle it” Bruce got interrupted from the doorbell. Steve went to open the door that revealed a smiling Natasha with her fiery red curls wearing a dark blue fitted dress and Clint with a pair of black jeans and a grey t-shirt.

“Hey, we came as fast as we could.” Clint said as he entered the apartment with Natasha behind him.

“It’s a really long story and we’re going to need your help and whatever contacts you have that don’t want to kill you” Bruce’s voice came from the armchair and both Clint and Natasha looked at him with a curious look.

“Please don’t tell me you killed someone” Natasha said teasingly and went to take a sit at the couch.

“Steve?” Clint said turning to glance at Steve with a curious expression.

“I’m going to tell you some things and let you decide if you want to get involved or not” Steve said and started narrating everything that happened to him the past few days with as much detail as he could. After he finished Natasha looked at Steve with her mouth slightly agape and Clint had a blank expression that made Steve really afraid of his reaction.

“So you want me to reach out to people that don’t want to kill me and see if they’ve seen Bucky?” Clint asked.

“Look you don’t have to, I know what I’m asking here and you really don’t have to it’s an idea that Bruce came up with” Steve stuttered because he knew that he asked Clint to basically talk again with people that abused him.

“I need a drink, do you have anything?” Natasha asked and Steve was pretty sure that she was trying to defuse the tension that was obviously building up.

“Yeah, take whatever you want” Steve nodded to her and she stood up to fix herself a drink.

“I’m going to need a more detailed description, I can’t tell them go search for a tall well built guy with long brown hair and a prosthetic arm.” Clint muttered.

“I’ll owe you so much for this, thank you so much” Steve said feeling the at most gratitude for his friend willing to risk it for him.

“You won’t owe me anything, I just wish I had someone like you look for me when I was in a similar situation” Clint muttered as Natasha came back with her drink and before sitting down she planted a little kiss on Clint’s head.

 

# ~ THIRD LEVEL BASEMENT ~

 

“I… I’ve told you that he doesn’t know anything… I came here willingly and I’m willing to cooperate… he doesn’t know anything…” Bucky muttered in between taking shallow breaths. Bucky screamed in pain after he felt the next needle twist on his neck.

“Now be an obedient little dog Winter and keep quiet until Pierce gets here” Brock said and walked out of the cell that they kept him inside, leaving Bucky alone strapped down on a table with a collar around his neck that had thousands of needles getting into the skin of his neck and several of them secured into his neck.

After a while Bucky managed to adjust his breathing and let darkness finally take him because he couldn’t fight anymore with the drugs Brock had given him. He let himself pass out and hoped that he’d dream of the little moments of almost happiness Steve had offered him.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I… they’re sending me after Tony and Thor” Bucky let out with a shaky voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the late update, university is being really hard on me these days.  
> Always read the tags before reading hope you enjoy it.

# ~ CLINT BARTON’S APARTMENT ~

Clint entered his apartment late at night trying to think of who to contact to help out Steve. He kicked off his boots when he heard a loud thud coming from his bedroom. Years of living with a circus and getting involved into things not strictly legal made Clint be always on alert and prepared. He reached for the nearest bow he had in the living room and headed for his bedroom. He kicked open his door and shouted.

“Hands where I can see them or I shoot.” He turned on the lights with his elbow and saw Bucky, dressed in black cargo pants, black combat boots, a black leather jacket that from the looks of it had reinforced kevlar underneath, a mask that seemed like a muzzle and a collar.

“What are you doing here?” Clint asked not lowering his bow. Bucky reached cautiously with one hand and opened his facemask dropping it to the floor, at the reveal of the wounds and scars on Bucky’s mouth Clint gasped.

“I… they’re sending me after Tony and Thor” Bucky let out with a shaky voice. Clint approached Bucky still not dropping his bow and felt a rage surge through him when he saw that the collar around Bucky’s neck had metal spikes that where going through his neck.

“You… warn them… tell … hide” Bucky almost whispered with a shaky voice.

“Do they know you’re here?” Clint asked concerned.

“Not yet… I … go … give this to Steve… it’s happening tomorrow” Bucky said and Clint dropped his bow and took the folded paper from Bucky’s arm.

“Wait, don’t go yet” Clint said and went to a frantic search through the drawers near his bed. He finally found it, a tracer, he turned around and handed it to Bucky.

“Make sure they don’t find this on you, we’ll come get you just hang on a little bit longer” Clint said not sure what else to do to help him out.

“Don’t…” Bucky said almost in a whisper again picked up his mask from the floor, turned around and dropped out the window.

Clint run to the living room where he’d left his cellphone. He picked it up and called Steve.

“Get everyone and come over at my place right now” Clint said and hang up as he opened his laptop to activate the tracer he’d given Bucky.

 

# ~*~

“Did you think I wouldn’t find you?” Brock said as he pushed Bucky in a dark alley away from the prying eyes of people.

“I came with you, what else do you want? Can’t I have a walk by myself? I didn’t contact anyone” Bucky said and felt the strain in his voice. He tried to be as convincing as he could and not let Brock figure out what he’d done.

“The mission is happening tomorrow and you bolted, I’m not stupid Winter” Brock said and grabbed Bucky from the neck and slammed him back against the wall.

“I have a name” Bucky whispered as he felt the air leave his lungs under Brock’s pressure.

“Oh, right do you prefer I called you Bucky, or Buck? Is that what he called you when he fucked into you?” Brock shouted into Bucky’s face and landed a punch on his cheek that made Bucky dizzy.

“Since you’re so hellbent on protecting him and his friends I guess he was good? Tell me I’m interested was he better than me and the rest of the team?” Brock kept on shouting and released Bucky’s neck a moment before Bucky thought he’d pass out.

 

# ~ CLINT BARTON’S APARTMENT ~

“What happened?” Steve said as he entered Clint’s apartment.

“Your boyfriend Bucky happened” Clint said as he went to back to the couch where he had his laptop open.

“What?” Steve said as he closed the door behind him and went to sit beside Clint.

“He came here, he said that they’re planning a hit tomorrow on Tony and Thor”

“When did this happen? Did he tell you anything else? We need to protect Tony and Thor. How was he?” Steve mumbled he had so many questions that made him face the fact that he had gotten extremely worried for Bucky and that somehow he had gotten in under his wires.

“Wow, stop one at a time, I called on the only person that doesn’t want to kill me and he’ll take care of Tony and Thor for tomorrow and maybe for the next few days” Clint said and right on time he thought the doorbell rang interrupting their conversation.

“Hey, nice to see you guys” Clint said as he opened the door and Steve turned around to see Tony and Thor entering the apartment followed by a guy dressed in a standard black suit with a white shirt and a black tie.

“Long time” the man said and Clint hugged him a little too long Steve thought.

“This is Thor, this is Tony and the guy on the couch is Steve” Clint said and motioning to everyone of them.

“Guys meet Phil Coulson” Clint said and went to sit back on the couch.

“So, also I gave Bucky a tracer if he keeps it on himself we’ll be able to see where he is, also about how he is” Clint said with a sigh trying to figure out the right way to tell Steve about Bucky’s state.

“What Clint?” Steve almost shouted with frustration.

“It’s not good, they have this collar on him with metal spikes that go in his neck, it’s sick” Clint said thinking that if he ever were at Steve’s place he’d want to know the raw truth.

“He also gave me this” Clint said and pulled out the folded paper from his pocket and gave it to Steve.

Steve took the paper with trembling hands and unfolded it.

_“I’m sorry , thanks for everything Stevie”_

Steve read the paper and felt the world crashing down around him.

“Snap out of it, we’ve got work to do” Steve turned up and saw Phil starring down on him.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Where the fuck is the target Winter?” Brock’s voice roared in his head again.

“Where’s the target?” Brock’s voice shouted through the intercom and Bucky felt himself smirking, because it had paid off. He thought that all he had to do know was get rid of the rest of the team that was with him and he’d be able to go.

“Where the fuck is the target Winter?” Brock’s voice roared in his head again. Bucky didn’t waste any time and pulled two daggers from his belt. He knew that these people maybe weren’t at fault but he needed to get away from them and right here was the perfect chance. They were on the rooftop of a skyscraper so the chance of witnesses were close to zero. He saw none of the two people that were assigned to assist him and bring him back to that compound were paying attention to him as they were preoccupied to informing Brock about the fact that the target was not in position. 

Bucky thought that he was supposed to feel some kind of remorse about what he was about to do but nobody had left him any choice. He threw both daggers simultaneously and both of them hit their targets.

“Winter, stand down and come back to base. Remember the deal, you stay here and I won’t harm your little boyfriend and his friends” Brock’s voice said but Bucky couldn’t answer to the threats, he felt his voice raw from the collar around his neck and he didn’t deem Brock worthy of answering, he was sure that he’d find a way to protect Steve and his friends from Brock. He reached a gloved hand into his ear and took the earpiece out, tossed it on the ground and crushed it under his boot.

He thought that it’d be useful to gather whatever weapons he could find on the two men and take them with him. After doing some search he was right to think that both of them would be armed to the teeth.

Bucky thought that he’d need to find a way to contact Steve, he wasn’t exactly sure where he was, the drive to that part of town disoriented him and he wasn’t exactly dressed in civilian clothes nor did he have time to change on the rooftop, he knew that Brock was probably on his way to find him bringing with him a small army to detain him.

He started running downstairs and got out on the street thankfully without running into anyone in the building.

He looked around him on the street, to his left there was the café Tony was supposed to be in where the hit would happen. The street was busy and he was starting to get noticed, he had to get out of there fast.

Relax and think, what do you need, cellphone you need a cellphone find a cellphone, Bucky thought to himself. He searched with his eyes around him, the café, he thought, he walked over there and started looking around, on the outside tables there was the perfect candidate, one girl was talking on the phone and there was another cellphone left unattended on the table.

He walked over there, passed the table extended his hand and grabbed the cellphone. He walked away from the café and took a left. As soon as he was out of sight he started running.

As soon as he passed a few blocks and put a fair amount of distance between him and the skyscraper he opened the phone and typed in Steve’s cell number and pressed dial.

“Hello?”

“Steve? I… it’s Bucky” Bucky trailed off not knowing exactly what to say.

“Bucky, are you ok? Where are you?”

“I don’t know Steve… a few blocks down from the café where Tony was supposed to go today…”

“I’ll ask Tony, I’m coming to get you. Can you describe to me what you’re seeing so that I can find you?”

“I… there’s a restaurant I think…” Bucky said feeling the strain in his voice from the collar around his neck.

“I’m coming, I know where you are I’m coming. Do you want to stay on the line with me?” 

“I can’t talk much… the… collar…” Bucky trailed off and pressed a hand on the collar around his neck and as he drew it back he saw blood on his hand, maybe the running he thought.

“Stay on the line with me I’m coming, I’m getting in Nat’s car right now we’re probably fifteen minutes away, are you hurt?” Bucky could hear the obvious worry in Steve’s voice and thought back to what they did to him, the bruises that were probably forming on his ribs, the cuts on his legs.

“No, I’m ok, Steve hurry I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stay here long” Bucky said and knew that he was standing out way too much, black gear a metal suitcase strapped on his back and if anyone passed him by he’d know that in there was a sniper rifle.

“No, find somewhere to hide for a bit and wait for me please, we’re eight minutes out probably or less, stay there Buck”

“Ok, ok I will…” 

“We’re three blocks away any minute now Buck”

“I’m waiting on the alley beside the restaurants where they have their dumpsters” Bucky said and walked over there as soon as he saw that a woman with her child where staring at him from across the street, masked man with gear, a high-tech prosthetic arm that was out right gleaming under the sunlight and a collar around his neck who could blame them he thought.

As he walked to the alley he felt the world spinning around him. The phone fell from his hand as he tried to find the wall to keep himself from falling down, but with no luck, he stumbled and fell to his knees. He couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him, he didn’t feel himself bleeding from anywhere and his broken ribs weren’t piercing any lungs, he would have known.

He felt his vision darken around the edges and his breath hitch, he then felt the blood start to dribble on his sternum, the collar he thought.

“I’m here Buck, stay with me” Bucky turned his head and saw Steve look at him but the picture in front of him grew hazy as he couldn’t seem to keep himself awake anymore. He gave into the darkness.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We need to take him to the hospital, I have no idea how to get this thing off his neck and he keeps bleeding through it” Bucky heard a voice saying and he identified it as belonging to Bruce.

Bucky felt himself emerge from the depths of unconsciousness and heard people talking around him. He tried to open his eyes but was feeling too tired.

“We need to take him to the hospital, I have no idea how to get this thing off his neck and he keeps bleeding through it” Bucky heard a voice saying and he identified it as belonging to Bruce. Bucky snapped open his eyes he wanted to have a say in the matter because Brock was probably hunting him down.

“Not a hospital” Bucky muttered hoping that he’d be heard over the people arguing around him.

“We need to get that thing off your neck, or you might bleed to death in this car do you understand what I’m telling you right now?” Bruce almost shouted and Bucky flinched back from the loud noise. 

“I… no papers…” Bucky trailed off, he wanted to explain more about the fact that he didn’t exist anywhere and no hospital was going to accept him and even if they did the hospital was going to eventually have to call the police after seeing his injuries and that was going to lead him back to them, he had no strength left to explain all of this to them.

“He has no papers and Loki hasn’t called yet, they’re not going to take him” Natasha said keeping her eyes glued on the road.

“Buck, we’re going to take you at Clint’s apartment, hold on for me” Bucky heard what must have been Steve’s voice, he couldn’t believe the trouble Steve had gone through for him, he fought against closing his eyes.

“Buck we’re almost there” Bucky felt that Steve’s voice started to get away from him, he reached a cautious hand on his neck and felt the wetness, he didn’t have to see the blood.

“Help me with him hurry” Bruce said as he started slowly manhandling Bucky out of the car, Bucky grunted at the movement but tried to help as much as he could, he should be able to hoist himself up but he couldn’t figure out why he couldn’t do it. 

“Buck, you’re going to be ok” Steve said as he supported Bucky pulling his hand over his shoulders and holding him up, Bucky wasn’t sure he was going to be ok, especially after tilting his head down and looking at his bloodstained torso, that was a lot of blood. He felt his eyesight going dark around the edges and a familiar voice shouting to him to wake up, but he couldn’t find the strength to answer back.

“Wake the fuck up” a voice shouted and Bucky flinched awake feeling pain shot in his eardrum from the loud noise.

“And he’s up, you really need to call that friend of yours, cause he needs a hospital right now” Bucky couldn’t figure out exactly who the voice belonged too, deep down though he couldn’t stop thinking that he was going to pass his last moments on that couch.

“Buck, listen to me we’re going to get you better just hold on” he knew that voice, Steve, he was still there, he felt warmth cover his right arm and he looked down to see a hand was covering his own. He slowly tilted his head up and saw a figure standing close beside him, after a while his vision cleared and saw Steve.

“We need to do a blood transfusion right now, he won’t make it if we wait any longer” Bucky saw behind Steve a man he didn’t recognized dressed in a suit.

“Field blood transfusion” Bucky turned and saw Clint nodding at the person in the suit.

“I’m not sure I know how to do this” Bruce said looking at both of them.

“I do” the man in the suit said and came to sit beside Steve. Bucky looked up at him not sure if he should trust him or not.

“I need to know your blood type” the man said and Bucky started thinking, if he was here with everyone else he should be a person Steve trusted.

“zero… negative” Bucky muttered and saw the man groan he knew he had a rare type and it didn’t make things easier because he had to have a transfusion with exactly the same type.

“What the hell? Seriously now? Zero negative come on people does anyone have zero negative in here?” Bucky couldn’t pinpoint who the voice belonged to.

“Me, what do I do?” Bucky still couldn’t tell who the voice belonged to but he was sure it belonged to a woman. He saw a blonde woman come near him, another unknown person.

“Who are they?” Bucky managed to rasp as he looked at Steve.

“Phil and Pepper they’re friends and here to help, trust me on this” Bucky couldn’t say no, he thought that egos aside he needed the help if he didn’t want to die.

“Look at me Buck, we’ll do a blood transfusion here, it’s going to make you feel a little bit better” Steve said and Bucky couldn’t do anything else but nod.

“Keep looking at me and let them work, you’ll be ok. We contacted a lawyer, he’s working on getting you papers, he’ll give you back your identity, I told you we can fight them back” Bucky found himself trying to smile at Steve, he couldn’t believe that a person like him deserved someone like Steve in their life.

“They won’t touch you again, me and Tony came up with an idea and Thor is working another angle with a contact he has on the DEA.” Steve continued and Bucky couldn’t believe his ears, for the first time in years he thought that maybe he had a chance of getting away and it was all because of Steve, because of him he thought that maybe there was hope.

“Thank you…” was the only thing that he could master the strength to say.

“Get better so that we can figure out how to get this thing of your neck” Steve said.

“Steve Loki called he’s coming over here with the papers, we can take him to a hospital” Bucky looked up and saw Thor standing over him smiling down at him.

“I’m calling Maria to prepare things and send an ambulance” Bruce said and pulled out a cellphone from his pocket.

“Hear that, you’re going to be ok, Buck” Steve said and Bucky tried his hardest to hold onto his voice and not succumb to the darkness clawing him away.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He’s waking up, go get a doctor” Bucky heard Steve’s voice as he slowly opened his eyes and turned around to look at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this update is beyond what you call late. Hope you enjoy.

“He’s waking up, go get a doctor” Bucky heard Steve’s voice as he slowly opened his eyes and turned around to look at him.

“Don’t move, a doctor is coming to check up on you. You’re going to be alright” Bucky tried to reply to Steve but couldn’t master up the strength to voice his thoughts.

“Ok how are we feeling?” Bucky turned around and noticed that a doctor came in with her long dark brown her being held into a ponytail, he couldn’t figure out though if he was supposed to consider her a threat or not and out of instinct grabbed onto Steve’s hand.

“No need to be alarmed I’m your doctor my name is Jade Aster, I’m just here to check up on your vitals and see if everything is ok” the woman said as Clint got in the room and closed to door behind him. Bucky turned to look at Steve he felt that deep down this was some kind of trick that Brock was playing on him.

“It’s ok Buck” Steve said nodding to him and Bucky didn’t have the time to react as a dagger flew past him and stabbed Steve right into the carotid artery.

Nooooooooooooooooooo Bucky wanted to scream but he felt that he couldn’t, he felt himself chocking as tears started streaming down his face.

“Bucky Bucky wake up it’s a nightmare Bucky” he knew that voice, he felt himself thrashing on the bed as someone was trying to nudge him awake. He opened his eyes and his gaze fell to the leather straps on his hands and he started to panic. He turned to his right side and so Steve beside him trying to uncuff his hand.

“You’re ok, it’s just that you were having so many nightmares and they had to do it because you were hurting yourself.” Steve said as he managed to finally uncuff his hand.

“I’m gonna go get the doctor” Bucky turned around and saw the redhead friend of Steve’s sitting in a chair by the far end of the room.

“The doctor said you were going to be ok, it’s just going to take time” Steve said as he wiped down the sweat from his forehead with a tissue.

“How are we feeling?” said a woman and Bucky felt pure panic rush through him as he saw his nightmare standing right in front of him and repeating the exact same words.

“No, no, get out no” he tried to say looking at Steve.

“It’s ok she won’t do anything to you, she has stayed to monitor you ever since she figured out how to get that thing off your neck” Steve said as he rubbed circles to Bucky’s arm.

“My name is Jane Foster, it’s possible that you remember me from the last few times I came to check up on you. You were sort of awake but pretty out of it from the medication. I’m here to see how your vitals are doing now that you’re up and do some tests to see if anything is out of the ordinary. Ok? Nod once if you understand everything I’m saying to you, I don’t want you to use your vocal cords just yet until I make sure things are ok.” the woman said and Bucky nodded back to her and was startled when he saw Steve holding onto his hand.

“So everyone informed me about the situation here and you’re protected by patient doctor confidentiality so I won’t be talking to anyone.” Jane said and started checking on the machines they had him hooked onto.

“You’re going to be alright Buck” Steve said smiling at him and Bucky couldn’t help but stare back at him. He still couldn’t believe he was still alive and all because of Steve and his weird group of friends.

“I know you guys want to talk, I’m almost done here, mister Barnes I have given the medication you’re going to need to Steve and the proper instructions, also it’s important that you refrain from rapid neck movements and when you go to sleep use two pillows and keep your head elevated and for the love of everything please do not pick on the bandages on your neck preferably keep everything at a distance around the bandages. I’m going to go talk to the orthopedics to tell her to come see you as well because I’m still concerned about some of your bruising. Steve please can I talk to you outside?” Jane said turning to look at Steve and Bucky started to tense he still couldn’t get over his nightmare and with everything that happened he wasn’t about to let him out of his sight.

“No. Don’t go” Bucky said and he was surprised when his voice came out as a whisper. 

“Ok Buck. Jane please tell here whatever it is” Steve replied to Jane.

“Ok it’s just that I’m really worried about your nightmares and that you’re going to hurt yourself in your sleep and open up your stiches. I wanted to talk to Steve about having always someone to monitor you and wake you up at the slightest sign of you starting to have a nightmare. Also I’m going to be needing to come by and see how you’re doing tomorrow at least.” Jane said looking at both of them.

“Ok we’ll figure out a way to do it maybe I’ll talk with the others and figure out a schedule in case someone falls asleep.

“Ok then I’ll leave you two alone” Jane said and as she walked out all the other bursted into the room.

“We need to talk about the plan” Tony said as he grabbed a chair and sat beside Steve.

“What plan?” Bucky asked looking curiously at Tony.

“The plan were you tell me every single thing you know about those pieces of shit and I publish everything , you’ll be anonymous of course and we also give a video of you narrating everything of what they did and a signed copy of what I publish to a judge that owes Loki some favors so we can fight them back. Also Thor dug up a few things of when you worked for the D.E.A. and we could also use these if you want” Tony said and Bucky was surprised with the fact that Thor had managed to find something.

“It’s some papers videos and testimonies, I’m going to show you the videos and if you’re ok with using them we’ll do it” Bucky turned and saw Thor standing by the window and looking outside.

“What do they show?” Bucky asked dreading the answer, he remembered vividly the entire thing but he wanted to know exactly what part was on them.

“It’s you being tortured” Thor said not turning his gaze from the window.

“Only I have seen them, everyone decided that when you’d be physically better you’re going to decide what to do with them.” Thor continued.

“If you’re ok with it we were thinking of sending them to the judge, Thor said that in the videos he can identify about ten individuals and with your testimony also, they can go to jail for lifetime, some of them are from the cartel and the other assholes from the D.E.A.” Clint explained from beside Thor.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Can all of you get out of the room? I want Thor to show them to me”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So all of the warnings apply here cause towards the end it gets graphic, and i mean graphic torture so if you can't handle it, or it bothers you in any way or there's a chance that something awful gets triggered please do not read it!  
> Also i couldn't put anything else in the summary of the chapter cause i feel i'm going to give some stuff away and i don't want to give stuff away.

“Can all of you get out of the room? I want Thor to show them to me” Bucky said and everyone walked out of the room except Steve who remained by his side.

“Steve go” Bucky said firmly knowing all too well everything the videos showed and not being exactly ready yet to share it with him.

“Ok then, Thor please come get us when you’re done” Steve answered him and walked out of the room closing the door behind him.

“Don’t be upset with him, Thor told me some things and what’s happening more or less. It’s logical that he wants to watch it alone first” Clint said starring up at Steve.

“I’m not upset with him, I’m worried” Steve said and sat down opposite Clint.

“He survived through that believe me the guy is a fighter” Clint said as Natasha came through the elevator carrying about six to seven coffees on a tray.

“I came bearing gifts, so Steve, Tony here are your black ones, Pepper your tea, Clint your iced one, Phil your iced one extra milk and Bruce last but not least your juice.” Natasha said as she passed around the drinks.

“Thanks” Clint muttered and kissed her cheek as she sat down beside him.

“They’re taking too long” Steve muttered as he took a sip from his coffee.

“Steve there’s about three hours of footage it will take some time.” Clint said and Steve felt the impatience in him grow stronger.

“The important thing is that we have things against them and Thor said that Loki is the best there is and Bucky will recover from that collar torture device thing.” Natasha said as she sipped on her orange juice. Steve knew that they had a pretty good chance at taking every single person that had hurt Bucky down but he thought that they were taking up the director of the FBI who would surely not stand idly and let them publish anything about him and surely go to court.

“They’re not just gonna stand by and let you publish anything about them or Loki go to a judge” Steve said hoping that somehow this made them understand what they were all about to do.

“Steve I can publish the entire thing and nobody will ever know, we’ll do it at night at the warehouse where I print the papers and I’ll make sure the stuff won’t be there honorary leave for a day because I’m feeling joyful or something like that. I’m gonna write everything alone and also post it on the website of the paper myself. Thor and Loki can work everything out with the judge. I can’t see a way that things can go wrong.” Tony said smiling as he patted Steve’s back.

“What if someone comes after all of you?” Steve retorted back at Tony.

“Clint is fairly capable of handling himself also I think he’d rather die than letting anything happen to Natasha, no offense Natasha I know you can kick ass yourself, Thor will be with Loki and I can stay with Tony and Pepper to keep an eye out” everyone turned around to look at Phil who had stayed quiet the entire time.

“Sounds like a plan to me, we agreed to help knowing who we’re going after and if I remember correctly the doctor said to work out some shifts for the night so that Bucky will not tear his throat open, and yes I was eavesdropping” Natasha said smiling.

“Thank you…” Steve didn’t have the time to finish his sentence as Thor came out from the room.

“Come in, he wants you to see the videos.” Steve got up leaving his coffee at the table beside him.

“He wants all of you to see, so come on people” Thor said and got into the room behind Steve and everyone else followed him inside. Steve took his sit beside Bucky and everyone else started to squeeze inside the room.

“Are you sure you want us to see? If you agree with Loki getting the videos to the judge and at least him seeing them we can work with that” Steve said looking at Bucky trying to see if he was ok with him and everyone else watching.

“All of you need to see and after that if you’re still willing to help me then you can use them” Bucky said and Steve noticed a hint of terror as Bucky was looking at him.

“So gather round children it’s movie time” Bucky said mockingly as everyone gathered around his bed and Thor pressed play on the laptop Bucky had sitting on his lap.

Steve watched intently as the blurry image started to get more clear. He saw Bucky sitting strapped on a metal chair with a blindfold around his eyes turning his head to either side and Steve thought that maybe he was trying to listen to see if he was alone, then he noticed that Bucky there had his flesh arm. Then a figure comes into the room, to be more exact Steve thought that this was some sort of a dungeon. His face was out of line from the camera and then he turned around and Thor paused the video as soon as his face came into view.

“Here we have Mario Zamora head of the protective detail of the person owning the cartel Bucky had to infiltrate and as of yesterday I know where he is and we can get him for about thirty charges that buys him a life sentence in a prison that I’ll personally make sure is a hellhole and he won’t be escaping” Thor said and pressed play again.

Steve knew that Thor was great at his job and felt incredibly grateful for his skills. The video continued.

“So if you’ve learned anything from your time here, you’d know that I only ask once so you’ll have one chance to answer my question” the man said and yanked the blindfold from Bucky’s eyes and then Steve noticed that right eye was almost swollen shut from a bruise. Steve then felt terrified of what may lie beneath his black t-shirt.

“I know it was the D.E.A., now tell me who exactly was it?” the man said and grabbed Bucky by the throat. Bucky was silent.

“So you’re not talking, ok then boys come in” the man shouted and inside came five huge guys and one woman. Thor paused the video again.

“I have identified each and every one of them. Sif caught the guy with the goatee who’s behind the woman it was pretty easy and he ratted the whereabouts of the others.”

“Shit I know that bitch, Phil isn’t she that bitch who tried to do a buy with some guys on the circus?” Clint said turning to look at Phil.

“Yes that Nadia something. I’ll figure out what exactly happened before you put an arrow through her forearm and see if we can pile up any other charges against her.” Phil answered him.

“As much dirt as you can get on her it’s welcome.” Thor nodded back and pressed play again.

The man motioned to the others and Steve felt himself holding his breath and got startled as he felt a hand holding his, he looked down and saw Bucky’s hand wrapping around his, he turned up to look at him and saw Bucky staring at him. Watch Bucky mouthed and Steve turned his eyes towards the screen again. He saw two men carrying a table in the room and Steve couldn’t tell what was on it. He then saw a woman fill up a syringe and jam it on Bucky’s arm.

“It’s adrenaline so I don’t pass out from the pain” Bucky muttered.

Steve focused his eyes on the screen. One man pulled out needles and started to jam them in various different places as Bucky grunted. Then came another man with a bottle of rubbing alcohol and started pouring it on top of every single needle and Bucky kept grunting. Another man came in with a razor and started cutting him in various places and Bucky kept on grunting. After that came a guy with a blow torch, lit it up and went to work and Bucky screamed it pierced through Steve’s entire being. They lift him up then and tie him on a pole, the woman gets a whip with three tails and starts whipping him. Bucky paused the video then.

“Bruce meet the sick motherfucker holding the whip.” Bucky said and pressed play again as Steve saw Bruce flinch. The whip rose and fell and Bucky kept on screaming, Steve kept thinking that he couldn’t let himself even flinch. Bucky made a decision to share this video and he at least owed him that much.

“What the fuck? Does that thing have hooks at the end?” Bruce asked.

“Yeah” Bucky nodded.

The whipping went on for a long time and Steve watched as it slowly exposed raw flesh on his back. Then suddenly the woman stopped, grabbed another syringe and jammed it on Bucky’s neck. Steve thought that it was probably adrenaline again, then entered another guy and poured alcohol on his back and Bucky started screaming again as blood kept on oozing from the wounds on his back. They grabbed Bucky and moved him onto a metal table Steve couldn’t tell when exactly they had moved it into the room, they strapped Bucky down with his back on the table and Mario entered again holding a meat cleaver and it dawned on Steve what happened next, it rose and fell and Bucky’s screams ripped apart his soul.

“I have several other footage from there, also I have the footage where they pick you up from the street but I can’t get Brock” Thor said.

“The team from the F.B.I. are the worst, are you still sure you want to do this? They’re fuckin relentless and they’ll come after all of you in any way they can” Bucky said looking at every person in the room.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's working over plans on how to get the guys shown in the videos Thor got and how to eventually bring Brock and Pierce down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i have zero knowledge of how the whole being a lawyer thing works, so please bear with me on some things and if anything seems outrageously wrong for a lawyer to do please tell me so i can correct it.  
> On another note i'm bringing in the story the one and only Matt Murdock.  
> Also always read the warnings before reading the chapter please.

“Interesting…” Loki said keeping his eyes glued on the laptop screen were Thor played one after the other the videos he had gotten.

“I can work with this and we’ll get all of the people shown in these videos, thing is that we’ll need to get this Brock guy and we’ll also need to get somehow to Pierce”

“I can catch the guys from the F.B.I. in about five hours, we can get one to flip on the others” Thor retorted back to Loki.

“They’re not going to flip on anyone. I know them, how they work, you’re not going to get anything from them even if you torture them. You saw the videos and what they did to me did you hear me say anything? They taught me that” Bucky muttered from the couch.

“Ok then, Thor gets the guys and lady from the cartel and gets them to talk about the agents from the D.E.A. and see if any of them start talking. I can talk with Matt to maybe get him to represent anyone from the D.E.A. and maybe we can get something from that end” Loki explained.

“Who is Matt?” Steve asked coming from the kitchen carrying a tray with food for everyone.

“He’s reliable and has a really annoying sense of what is moral and what isn’t. Anyways in order to get him to work with us I’m going to have to tell him everything and I mean everything.” Loki said.

“Are you going to be able to make them say anything?” Bucky asked.

“If he can’t make them to talk, we’ll have Matt there and they’ll talk to him.” Loki said smirking.

“I think that’s enough for today, everyone needs to get some rest” Natasha said taking up a plate and serving herself some of the risotto.

“I have to go talk to Matt” Loki said grabbing some of his folders from the table.

“Sit down and eat something first” Thor said grabbing Loki’s folders from his hands.

“Oh will you convince Matt Murdock to represent D.E.A. scumbags?” Loki retorted back to him.

“Nope, shut up though and sit down” Thor said tugging at his arm.

“Do not tug on my suit, you’ll wrinkle it” Loki almost growled back at Thor as he sat down.

“Damn you can cook man.” Clint said as he devoured his plate.

“Thank you for helping me” Bucky muttered.

“Don’t sweat it we’ll get them, and it can be either on or off the books” Clint said as he took another sip of his bear.

“What is it you do again?” Bucky grunted as he tried to sit up on the couch with Steve’s help.

“I’m an archer.” Clint answered him smiling.

“And what makes you think you can handle them off the books?” Bucky questioned again.

“Oh believe me he can handle them off the books and so can i.” came a voice from behind Bucky’s head.

“What did the doctor say about rapid head movements come on Buck” Steve said and put a pillow behind Bucky’s head and helped him lie down.

“I don’t know if you remember me, I’m Phil Coulson, I know Clint back from the circus” Phil explained as he came into Bucky’s view.

“Circus? So it’s not just me with an interesting background story in your life huh?” Bucky tried to joke with Steve.

“I…” Steve muttered.

“But you kind of hold a special place in his big heart” Tony joked sipping on a soda.

“Tony honey? Do shut up” Pepper said smacking the back of his head.

“What? I thought it was obvious” Tony exclaimed.

“Steve come help me with the cheesecake?” Natasha said as she got up and walked over to the kitchen and Steve followed close behind her leaving the others poking a little bit of good hearted fun behind him.

“Do you like him?” Natasha said as she opened the fridge.

“What?” Steve asked feeling his cheeks flush red.

“Do you like Bucky?” Natasha asked again as she pulled the cheesecake out of the fridge.

“With all things going on, what he’s been going through. He doesn’t need this right now” Steve almost whispered to her in fear of anyone hearing him.

“I know I have about zero chance to convince you that you’re wrong because it’s never going to be a good time all things considered. So when we get all of them promise me you’ll tell him” Natasha said starring back at Steve waiting for an answer.

“Nat grab the soup for Bucky he needs to take his meds.” 

“He’s going to tell him Tasha, I grew the balls to finally do something about you. Steve already has them, there’s not growing time involved so he just needs to use them.” Clint joked as he came into the kitchen.

“Haha Clint hilarious” Steve retorted back to him but deep down knew that Clint was right.

“I’m funny like that, now what’s up with the cheesecake I’m starving” Clint grabbed the soup, the cheesecake and the spoons and went back to the living room with Steve and Natasha behind him. Steve came in and saw Bucky staring at him.

“Everything all right?” Bucky whispered as he leaned close to Steve’s ear so that none of the others could hear him.

“Yes, how are you feeling?” Steve asked reaching a cautious hand around Bucky’s shoulder.

“Ok I guess itches a bit and I desperately want to scratch my neck but I can’t” Bucky smiled back and reached for the bowl of his soup.

“Ok ladies and gents it’s been fun but I need to get in touch with Matt, so I need to go and Thor you’re coming with me” Loki said as he packed his bag.

“Why?” Thor asked confused.

“Because I need a chauffer to drive me around. What do you think? I need you in order to convince Matt that he has people he can trust in police and he can work with” Loki said as he walked towards the door with Thor behind him.

“We’re going to have to go too. There’s a shit gala or something that we need to attend tonight” Tony continued and he and Pepper left.

“So either you want it or not we’re staying for the day so we can figure a night routine” Clint said as he leaned back on the armchair.

 

# ~AROUND MIDNIGHT~

“No, no not Steve please no” Bucky muttered in his sleep and Clint got up from the chair he was sitting beside the bed.

“No Brock please no” Bucky muttered again and Clint nudged his shoulder trying to wake him up slowly.

“Get off … No” Bucky said again starting to move in his sleep.

“Wake up Bucky it’s a nightmare. It’s not real wake up” Clint shouted trying to wake Bucky up as Steve rushed into the room.

“Steve help me he’s not waking up” Clint said as he tried to hold Bucky’s arms down.

“Bucky you’re having a nightmare wake up” Steve said as he tried to hold down Bucky’s metal arm.

“Please I’ll do anything…”

“Slap him” Clint ordered and Steve did in desperate effort to wake him. As Steve’s hand landed on Bucky’s cheek, Bucky gasped and woke up.

“You were having a nightmare, you’re safe, you’re safe” Steve muttered as he saw how lost Bucky’s eyes looked. Steve tugged him into his arms and started brushing his hand through Bucky’s sweat hair.

“Steve go get us two glasses of water” Clint order and Steve felt that he somehow couldn’t say no to him, so he left the bedroom.

“Tell me” Clint asked and Bucky eyed him worried.

“Tell you what?” Bucky asked trying to dodge the subject he was sure Clint was asking him about.

“About your nightmare, tell me what you saw?” Clint asked again as he sat on the bed beside Bucky.

“I have nightmares myself, I know what it’s like. It may not be the same thing but they’re still there and they still scare me, I figured out no basically Phil and Natasha later on figured out that talking about them makes them a little less frightening." Clint explained turning to look at Bucky.

“I saw Brock and the rest of them. They had Steve and they were using him to get me to come back, they were hurting him so much. I don’t want anyone else getting hurt because of me especially Steve and what you all are about to do because of me scares me” Bucky explained trying to hold back his tears and at that time Steve felt that it was ok to maybe wait a few more minutes beside the door and out of their view before he came back into the room.

“Listen to me we’ll make it through this all of us. You know something when I saw those videos and what they did to you I thought of one thing, damn that guy is a really tough fighter and we may not look like much but so are we. They’ll pay for what they did.” Clint said and Steve smiled because Clint always knew what to say, so Steve walked back to the bedroom.

“I died of thirst, where did you go to bring that water?” Clint joked as he snatched the glasses from Steve’s hand and gave the other one to Bucky, who motioned to Steve to come sit beside him.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love to hear your opinions in the comments. :)


End file.
